Downtown San Diego Condo Rave
15 replies to this topic
Posted 28 February 2006 - 03:58 AM
The Red Carpet Welcome.
Visit all the sites listed on your invitation and enter to win my scooter!
(You'll need this because you won't have much gas money if you buy one of these condos.)
The lobby entrance, replete with ice sculpture, posters of happy looking people living an imaginary lifestyle, and a gaggle of RE harpies deciding who gets to work over the next visitor.
("Back off bitch, I saw him first!")
Enter the courtyard cum Rave-stage where DJ Hakim keeps the beat going strong with those vibrant downtown sounds!
Let us pour you a drink so you can relax and feel the groove....
Enjoy your drinks and listen intently while Belinda here explains to you the advantages of affordability through negative-am interest only option ARM financing. Try not to stare at her breasts.
What San Diego downtown condo open house could be complete without a fashion show?
(I couldn't quite figure out the theme of this fashion show except maybe, "How to revive that old 1996 skank-wear from the back of your closet and wear it again today...because you sure won't be buying any new clothes after you buy one of our condos.")
Here it is, the $399K view to the street from your palacial 586sq. ft. Studio.
Looking back the other way take in the gourmet kitchen and yes, against the wall to the right of the plant is your Dining table/Murphy bed. How cool is that? When you bring you date over for dinner and your eating at the table, you've already got her in the bedroom. Way to go champ!
But that's not all. There's still one part of this pied-e-terre the previous 2 pictures didn't yet cover. Don't forget that for every palace, there's a throne room!
(Looks like the Motel6 bathroom floorplan, and curtains, not even a shower door...guess $400K just doesn't go as far as it used to)
Let's check out the 1 bedroom....
There's Belinda again, "Hey, have I told you about our zero down financing?"
But Karl's distracted by something else...."Hey, what's that in the window across the way?"
Why, it's your very own "hot chick" neighbor!
Staging has come to a whole new level. Not only is the model condo meticulously interior decorated, but the vacant condos outside your window are planted with imaginary neighbors!
Look, she does calisthenics in scanty clothes while talking coyly on the cell phone to her girlfriends.
Imagine, just buy this condo, and play your cards right, sport. That could be you she's talking to on her phone!
Hey, you can see her from the window of your bedroom too!
This has gotta be worth every penny of the over $600 thousand dollar listed price.
But, of course, we didn't forget the ladies...
In the unit on the other side of the building is hunky "Calvin Klein Underwear Guy" who
sits in the window shirtless, reading for hours on end.
(You'll be shirtless too after you buy one of these crackerboxes.)
Here's the more deluxe kitchen if you buy a 2 bedroom unit. It even comes equipped with 1 above the counter cabinet unit and a whole lotta blank wall to let you exercise you own creativity. Hey, if you own more than 4-5 glasses and plates, you might want to think about using that extra wall space for...um...more cabinets.
(Guess the nearly 3/4million dollars asking price just gets you the 1 starter cabinet.)
Why do these condos have HOA fees ranging from over the$200's-$400's/month? Glad you asked.
You get access to this swell exercise room.
Here you can work out with a view of downtown market street; and downtown market street can have a view of you.
This is your chance to flex your muscles through the window to all the homeless street people, and crack ho's just outside so they know that they better not mess with you when you go out.
Pecunia non olet
Posted 28 February 2006 - 07:59 AM
Wow! Thanks Joe you rock. I can't believe they staged the neighbors like that. You still get good turn out in SD.
My wife and I went to a Saturday open house for a brand new, but mostly unfinished condo development in Santa Ana, and they tried to pull the "we still have some units left, sign up here, they'll go fast. Our *last* development sold out before completion" -- that's so 2005.
"WE ARE BEING KEPT ALIVE by the Entropic movement of Dark Matter(Sino-Nippo-dollar purchasing of $UST)---as soon as there is a ringing sound,a sign of an clogged artriosclerotic wormhole on the emergency fiat-meter it will end--dynamic equilibrium,will have been achieved;better known as death" -- beardrech (Mar 15 2006, 01:17 AM)
"There's a good chance he was drunk or drugged. Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage." -- Belgrade Zoo Director Vuk Bojovic (August 20, 2007).
It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. -- Hitchhiker (S.A.M. 1998)
Mar 28 2003: July 2003 is the time I have identified as the low of the bear move...then the first leg of the bear is over ...many will be caught by surprise to see the market near it's all time high again within 3-4 years  ..."depression" similar to 1932 doesn't come until 2010. -- blackbelt (Mar 28 2003, 10:05 PM)
Posted 28 February 2006 - 08:19 AM
Great little photo essay joestool! What a claustrophobic setup...
Posted 28 February 2006 - 08:22 AM
Hilarious, Joe, thanks.
My Sunday newspaper had a two-sided glossy four-color ad insert for a condo developement. After showing all the advantages of buying, they had the nerve to say that we'd better hurry because "only 4 townhomes and 20 condos are left."
Well, if they're selling so well, why did they pay about $20,000 to put that insert in?
Of course I'm caustic!
Posted 28 February 2006 - 08:53 AM
Excellent Joe, just excellent. No pump went unnoticed NOR unexploited. Bravo !!
Posted 28 February 2006 - 10:13 AM
..OOPS, ...never mind...
but of course, NICE SHOW, JOE!
Posted 28 February 2006 - 11:25 AM
Great work! UFB.
...A declining spenglerian carnival of Colossaalism united with Inflation where the numbers one through 10 are forever banished as worthless arithmetical detritus from a bygone age... - Beardrech
Posted 28 February 2006 - 01:50 PM
So, what are the odds that 'Belinda' starts an exciting new career
by the beginning of 2009?
Posted 28 February 2006 - 06:17 PM
That was great stuff!
I noted granite countertops in the kitchen, but it was very weak on the cabinet space. How long till the bling wears off and reality sets in? "Honey, we have to use paper plates. There's no place to store the china"
I also like how the Ralphs sign is part of the view. Classy!
I'm 100% sure you can rent an apartment with more usable space for at least half what the mortgage payment would be. Sure, it won't be brand new and won't have granite countertops, but you'll have more space and less worries.
Like how far underwater you'll be next year.
Posted 28 February 2006 - 09:35 PM
Unfricking believable Joe...I live about 9 miles from there.
What an incredible joke. $400,000 for a 586 square foot studio.
For those that don't know, the downtown area of San Diego has some good points. and bad.
The traffic is terrible.
parking is an unbelievable nightmare...paid $12.00 just to park recently.
Homeless are literally everywhere begging for change.
The new stadium is cool though.
The San Diego convention center, embarcadero and San Diego Bay are very close.
The noise on nearby streets is deafening on Friday and Saturday nights, lots of 20 somethings filled with liquid courage looking for fights, lots of 10,000 watt car stereos booming.
Who in their right mind would buy something that small?
Posted 01 March 2006 - 05:48 AM
Try Hookers drug dealers and night club bouncers
Posted 05 March 2006 - 05:22 PM
First off, Joe - I wanna party with you. Yeah, YOU. Bravo. You took some license with the staging props but it was good license.
I've been slumming it in the SD downtown game for the past couple years. This place, Atria, it's a bit disconnected from reality, esp. since it's a conversion. It's a nice conversion in a nice area, but still. Somewhere past summer '04 the pre-cons lost their luster and developers thought they could skip ahead of the resale market. It's not representative of the market, these guys are just fishing. Look here to see what one can purchase under $400k.
In any case, I'm closing a 730 sqft loft at Fahrenheit in a couple weeks. 4th floor w/ 100 sqft deck, decent view. That was a pre-con... at this moment in time it would appraise ~$420k. I have a feeling by year's end it will come down what I purchased it for. OTOH, I believe prices will be flat afterward once projects pull out en masse and the existing inventory lacks pre-con competition. Commercial will take the place of residential until the end of the decade, which is what the area sorely needs after this residential frenzy of the past 5 years. Then demand will surge once again. All IMO.
Remember a good deal of this development, specifically East Village, is rapidly gentrifying what were heavily blighted areas - if you happen to visit these areas say every half year or so, the change is astounding. Downtown as a whole was a total shithole just 2 decades ago.
Posted 07 September 2009 - 12:15 AM
I absolutely love everything about downtown San Diego. You are right... 2 decades ago it was a different place. I only wish I had bought property there, way back when
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