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The Red Carpet Welcome.
Visit all the sites listed on your invitation and enter to win my scooter!
(You'll need this because you won't have much gas money if you buy one of these condos.)
The lobby entrance, replete with ice sculpture, posters of happy looking people living an imaginary lifestyle, and a gaggle of RE harpies deciding who gets to work over the next visitor.
("Back off bitch, I saw him first!")
Enter the courtyard cum Rave-stage where DJ Hakim keeps the beat going strong with those vibrant downtown sounds!
Let us pour you a drink so you can relax and feel the groove....
Enjoy your drinks and listen intently while Belinda here explains to you the advantages of affordability through negative-am interest only option ARM financing. Try not to stare at her breasts.
What San Diego downtown condo open house could be complete without a fashion show?
(I couldn't quite figure out the theme of this fashion show except maybe, "How to revive that old 1996 skank-wear from the back of your closet and wear it again today...because you sure won't be buying any new clothes after you buy one of our condos.")
Here it is, the $399K view to the street from your palacial 586sq. ft. Studio.
Looking back the other way take in the gourmet kitchen and yes, against the wall to the right of the plant is your Dining table/Murphy bed. How cool is that? When you bring you date over for dinner and your eating at the table, you've already got her in the bedroom. Way to go champ!
But that's not all. There's still one part of this pied-e-terre the previous 2 pictures didn't yet cover. Don't forget that for every palace, there's a throne room!
(Looks like the Motel6 bathroom floorplan, and curtains, not even a shower door...guess $400K just doesn't go as far as it used to)
Let's check out the 1 bedroom....
There's Belinda again, "Hey, have I told you about our zero down financing?"
But Karl's distracted by something else...."Hey, what's that in the window across the way?"
Why, it's your very own "hot chick" neighbor!
Staging has come to a whole new level. Not only is the model condo meticulously interior decorated, but the vacant condos outside your window are planted with imaginary neighbors!
Look, she does calisthenics in scanty clothes while talking coyly on the cell phone to her girlfriends.
Imagine, just buy this condo, and play your cards right, sport. That could be you she's talking to on her phone!
Hey, you can see her from the window of your bedroom too!
This has gotta be worth every penny of the over $600 thousand dollar listed price.
But, of course, we didn't forget the ladies...
In the unit on the other side of the building is hunky "Calvin Klein Underwear Guy" who
sits in the window shirtless, reading for hours on end.
(You'll be shirtless too after you buy one of these crackerboxes.)
Here's the more deluxe kitchen if you buy a 2 bedroom unit. It even comes equipped with 1 above the counter cabinet unit and a whole lotta blank wall to let you exercise you own creativity. Hey, if you own more than 4-5 glasses and plates, you might want to think about using that extra wall space for...um...more cabinets.
(Guess the nearly 3/4million dollars asking price just gets you the 1 starter cabinet.)
Why do these condos have HOA fees ranging from over the$200's-$400's/month? Glad you asked.
You get access to this swell exercise room.
Here you can work out with a view of downtown market street; and downtown market street can have a view of you.
This is your chance to flex your muscles through the window to all the homeless street people, and crack ho's just outside so they know that they better not mess with you when you go out.
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