Paleontologist Makes Shocking Discovery

[Guest]

(AP)

 

Dr. Al G., head of the Law Terminal Carnivore Museum announced the discovery of a huge deposit of fossilized dinosaur bones which can only be described as astounding. "The bones appear to be the remains of many score of dinosaurs, similar to the Tyrannosaurus Rex, which are all piled up in one large circular area." - say the paleontologist team members.

 

Studies of the tooth marks on the bones and the positions of the animals themselves suggest that all of these animals must have died together as a result of a "massive out of control feeding frenzy in which they all turned upon themselves in one orgy of self-destruction!"

 

The dinosaurs were given the scientific name of "Hedgefundasaurus Rex", which in layman's terms means "King of the self-consuming lizards."

[3Martinis]

"King of the self-consuming lizards."

 

Grot, you rock.

[Sudaca]

Check this out... Greenie saying he doesn't know what shape the consumer is in, but that he'll have some vague idea in a couple of years.

 

2006 ???

 

It will be way too late by 2006. By then, we'll all know what shape the consumer was in.

 

Or wasn't.

 

 

 

Greenspan surveys consumers

 

5/26/2004

 

WASHINGTON (AP) - Alan Greenspan is asking 10,000 American households to take part in this year's Federal Reserve survey of consumer finance, which aims to provide a snapshot of what people own, how much they borrow and how they use their banks.

 

Issued every three years, the survey is being conducted for the Fed by NORC, a social science research organization at the University of Chicago, the Fed announced Tuesday. The 2004 survey will be published in 2006.

 

Fed Chairman Greenspan, in a letter mailed to 10,000 randomly selected households, urged families to participate and assured them their privacy would be protected.

 

"Neither I nor anyone else at the Federal Reserve is allowed to know your name - indeed, for this reason, the salutation of this letter is not personalized," Greenspan wrote.

 

"Although good overall information on the state of the major sectors of the economy is available regularly, our knowledge about the financial circumstances faced by different types of households is much more limited," the Fed chief explained. "Our survey fills a key part of this gap."

 

 

 

 

:shocked :shocked :shocked