Weakends Are Made For Labats Blue

[Madame Wrecked Him]

1987:

[Madame Wrecked Him]

2003-2004

[wrecked him]

Homeland Security Bill has passed.

The new Homeland Security Bill has passed.

 

Things will be different now. Internet surfing will be tracked by the FBI with a non-intrusive method. The FBI says you will not notice anything different. For a demonstration - Click on the link below..

 

http://users.chartertn.net/tonytemplin/FBI_eyes/

[Guest]

Time for a stool story!

 

Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."

 

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?"

 

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever," he said.

 

"Seventeen people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" the judge said.

 

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this:

 

 

 

 

and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this small circle) is your brain after drugs."

 

"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" he asked the second guy.

 

"Well, your honor, I persuaded one hundred fifty six people to give up drugs forever," he said.

 

"That many people! How amazing! How did you manage to do that!" the judge asked.

 

"Well, I used the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and told them, 'this is your anus before prison,'" he said.

[Guest]

No MWH , I wasn't thinking of you when I saw this.

 

A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper.

 

Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

 

"About 35," was the reply.

 

"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.

 

After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question.

 

The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29".

 

"I am actually 47."

 

Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question.

 

She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age."

 

As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets her slip her hand down his pants.

 

Ten minutes later, the old lady says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47."

 

Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?"

 

The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds."

[wrecked him]

Sleddog

 

Don't get me started, I'm warning you

 

An elderly Italian Jew wanted to unburden his guilty conscience by

talking to his Rabbi.

"Rabbi, during World War II, when the Germans entered Italy, I

pretended

to be a Catholic and changed my name from Levy to Spumoni, and I

am

alive today because of it."

"Self preservation is allowable, and the fact that you never

forgot

that

you were a Jew is admirable," said the Rabbi.

 

"Rabbi, during the war, a beautiful young Jewish woman knocked on

my

door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. I hid her in my

attic,

and they never found her."

 

"That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to feel

guilty."

 

"It's worse, Rabbi. I was weak and told her she must repay me with

sexual favors, which she did, repeatedly."

 

"You were both in great danger and would have suffered terribly if

the

Germans had found her. There is a favorable balance between good

and

evil, and you will be judged kindly. Give up your feelings of

guilt."

 

"Thank you, Rabbi. That's a great load off my mind. But I have one

more

question."

 

"And what is that?"

 

"Should I tell her the war is over?"

[Madame Wrecked Him]

No MWH , I wasn't thinking of you when I saw this.

No, of course you weren't, Sled. Besides, WH is the one who's good with his hands.

[Guest]

[Guest]

Maurice has a business appointment, and he arrives a little early. The receptionist points to a comfortable easy chair and asks him to be seated for a while. Maurice settles down, picks up a glossy magazine opens it, and tries to read. However, he finds that he cannot concentrate because he is distracted due to a rumpus coming from behind one of the doors leading off the reception area. Maurice goes over to the receptionist and asks, "What's going on in there?"

She replies, "It's a partners' meeting."

"But why are they shouting at each other?" Maurice asks.

"It's a battle of wits," she replies.

Maurice asks: "Who is in there?", and she answers,

 

 

 

 

"Horowits, Lebowits, Rabbinowits and Abramowits."

[Guest]

Harry came home late from a golfing date to find his wife ranting and raving.

"You must be cheating on me," she shouted.

"You promised me you'd be home by noon, and it's after seven at night."

"Now, wait, dear, "Harry said. "Let me explain. I got up at dawn and picked up

Fred at six a.m. But on the way to the course, I had a flat tire. The spare was flat,

so I had to walk a of couple miles to the service station. By the time I got back to

the car, it was after nine. Then we ran out of gas, and that cost an hour. We didn't

tee off until eleven."

"You still should have been home by three," his wife accused.

"I'm not finished," Harry said. "Everything went well for the first two holes. Then

Fred had a heart attack. I ran to the clubhouse to find a doctor. I couldn't locate

one, and by the time I got ack, Fred was dead. So for the next sixteen holes, it was

hit the ball, drag Fred, hit the ball, drag Fred. . . ."

[Guest]

For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.

 

"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them,

"That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you

both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you

want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the

statues to life.

 

The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.

"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at

them. Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said,

 

 

 

"Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll sh*t on its head."

[Guest]

Last stool tale

 

Three old men were sitting around comparing notes about who had the worst health problems....

 

The 70-year-old said, "Have I got a problem. Every morning, like clock-work, I get up at 7:30 and have to pee, but I have to stand at the toilet for an hour 'cause it barely trickles out."

 

"Heck, that's nothing." said the 80-year-old. "Every morning at 8:30, like clock work, I have to do a #2, but I have to sit there for hours because of my constipation. It's terrible."

 

 

The 90-year-old said, "You guys think you have problems! Every morning at about 7:30 I do an unbelieveably long #1, and then, at 8:30 I take an extroadinary #2."

 

The 80-year-old looks at the 70-year-old, then looks back at the 90-year-old incredulously and asked, "So what's your problem?" "Well, I don't wake up 'til 11:00," he replied.

[Guest]

One more

 

The Proctologist

 

This guy wants to be a proctologist, and he wants to be a really good

proctologist, so he decides to go down to the morgue after class and

practice a little. Well, he uncovers the first guy and there is a cork in

his butt! He thinks it's a little strange, so he pulls it and music starts

playing!

 

"...On the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again..."

 

The guy really freaks out! He runs and gets the M.A. and drags the poor

guy back to the table.

 

"Look!" he says, and pulls the cork out again, "...On the road again..."

 

The M.A. is totally unimpressed... "So what?" he says.

"Isn't that the most amazing thing you've ever seen?" the guy asked.

 

"Are you kidding?" says the M.A. "Any asshole can sing country music!"

[mjkst27]

Bear Food

[Guest yobob1]

Attn: Yobob1

 

I am desperate to turn bearish, but I can't fight the tape just yet. How is the RV business? Breakout on Winnebago on Friday. Is this for real???

 

Every stock I try to short gets Steve McQueened to new highs.........

 

How is your business doing??

Attn: Wndysurf

 

Since when (in your own opinion) did reality have anything to do with a stock price?

Can't you tell from how AMAT is doing?

 

As to being desperate to turn bearish, you're either a bear or you aren't. I don't think you can turn it on and off like a light switch any more than you can change your skin pigment. I make no judgements as to right or wrong, but IMO you must recognize who you are.

 

I have no idea how Winnebago is doing as a whole and I'm a little distanced from motorized sales in general, since I withdrew from the motorized market in 2000, other than one little Class B built on a Mercedes diesel chasis I'm dabbling with. In times past when gas prices rise, motorized feels the pain first and worst. Whether this holds true once again, is hard to say. RV mfgs. have a notorious habit of pipe stuffing at the end of the quarter and dealers are notoriously bad at having the wrong inventory both in quantity and type. For the most part they err to the overstock side of the equation. The auto industry's number are spurious and misleading. The RV industry is the auto industry on steroids in the case of data generation.

 

Our business model is quite different from the traditional model. Being in a realtively isolated pocket of population, I recognized many moons ago that it might be a good thing if I were able to widen my net a little, so In 1997 I started my website. It took many years of fiddling and continuous work but it finally started paying off in 2001. Now fully 50% of my sales are out of my market. The most recent was a sale to a fellow in Yellowknife Northwest Territories, Canada. (Follow the road to the top right of Canada. When the road stops, you're there.) So how's my business? First quarter was profitable (only happens 1 out of 3 - past 32 years) and have a similar amount of sales booked into 2nd quarter already. Now realize if I had not drastically changed the size and make-up of our business in 2000, I might be in deep doo-doo by now. My overhead is extremely low and personally I've become very low maintenance. If and when the feed raises the rate (floor plans are generally tied to prime which is tied to the base 1% rate) many, many dealers will be in deep shit. Their models have no slack in them to handle the huge inventories they have gleefully built up. If that is compounded with a general slowing of sales, reducing their turn rate, then they die. You see in our industry their is a little thing called a "curtailment". That means after a unit has been in stock for 6 months, you must make a payment equal to 10% of the invoice, to your lender. On many plans the unit must be paid in full at one year. In our industry the true turn rate is normally about 2.5 per year. And any delaer that doesn't get caught with some aging inventory, even in boom times, must have the hand of God intervening. It can be a real cash flow nightmare. To worsen things further many delaers have gone into major debt building flashy new facilities supported only by extrapolating trends as far as the eye can see. Hmmmmm tech did that prior to 2001 didn't they?

 

In my opinion a lot of the RV industry over the last few years has been supported by home re-fis, even though for most the interest is deductible as a second residence. I believe the RV industry is about to leave it's golden years behind in spite of all of the Baby (ka)Boom hysterics. As it is, direct loan terms have become absurd. How does 4.35% fixed for 20 years on $100,000 sound? That's better than a mortgage on an asset that will depreciate faster than the principal is paid down. Some of the crap being foisted off on the public simply won't survive to the end of the payment book either. Most who finance direct are upside down from the get-go and by year 2 are deeply underwater.