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BAREister's Achievements

Assistant Professor of Stock Proctology

Assistant Professor of Stock Proctology (5/9)



  1. He's a bit phobic about this new Homeland Security Bill thing, wot? Crystalnacht? We're a LONG way from THAT. Not that something like that wasn't already in place. About a year ago HRFF elected to take a bus to Vancouver WA. He sat near the talkative driver who regaled him w tales of not one but FOUR rapes in the back of the bus during his career. Anyhoo, there was a garrulous long haired fellow in the seat behind him on the way up to the Canadian border. He'd been a protestor at "the battle in Seattle" a year or two earlier, he volunteered. We all dutifully decamped at Blaine for customs. The long haired fellow didn't get back on. What happened to HIM? HRFF wondered aloud. Oh, HIM!!!, the person across the aisle said. "They detained him. " Evidently he was persona non grata in Canada AND the U.S.!!!
  2. How POSITIVELY...............................INFANTILE of you ...................to......... BESMIRCH............. HRFF's most NOBLE and STORIED perfesshunnn!!! SCOUNDRELS!!! CRETINS!!! KNAVES!!! LOUTS!!! Signed: Rodney Dangerfield, Jr. Esquire
  3. ASS Calvin would say to Hobbes (re YoyoBob1's post): HMMMMPPPPPPFFFFF!!!! LMAZZOFF
  4. If that's a link to LAWYER JOKES, Stool must THWART it!!! Actually, the joke is about a lawyer, a priest and a doctor. Their raft is leaking in shark-filled waters and they know only one person can make it to shore. They debate who is more valuable to socieity. The priest, being a good Christian, nobly sacrifices himself. The doctor, being a doctor and thinking he is GAWD doesn't want to got go, but the lawyer is better at arguing and the doctor loses, so he jumps overboard, and, like the priest, is devoured by sharks immediately. The lawyer paddles frantically for the shore but the raft leaks too fast and the horrified people on the beach watch as he stands up in the raft, and snaps his fingers. The sharks immediately stop circling, and, instead, line up in a row from the raft to the shore, nose to tail with their fins sticking out of the water. Checking to make sure his tie is straight, the lawyer grabs his briefcase, and, just as the raft is sinking under the water, calmly steps out of it onto the fin of the first shark and nonchalantly walks on the fins/backs of the sharks to the shore. The awestruck crowd is speechless. Finally a young lad breaks the silence: H-h-h-how did you do THAT, Mister?" he asks, incredulously. The lawyer shrugs nonchalantly. "Simple," he says, diffidently. "It was merely a matter of professional courtesy." Be NICE to lawyers!!! After ALL, you may NEED one someday!
  5. Awwwww y'all r just JEALOUS...LOLOL Tell HRFF: which are more POOPular: Lawyers or ... BONKERS?
  6. http://www.sacbee.com/state_wire/story/540...p-6393675c.html What IS this world COMING TO, ANYWAY? LOL The BAREister can't think of anything CONSTRUCTIVE to add to this rather FRIVOLOUS post at the moment. He is in SHOCK. He will add something beFUR the weekend's out. Could this rally have spent itself THIS week? What a HOOT THAT would be. Just like Ms Market to do something like that. Get the bulls all lathered up and then....WHAMMO!!! pull the rug out from underneath 'em.
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