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Grumpy Good Wishes

Stepan N. Stool, PH &D (12/28/00) 


The staff of Capitalstool.com wishes you and your family the happiest of holidays. We apologize for Dr. Stool's lapses in taste, and hope that you've gotten a chuckle here and there. 

Please know that, offensive as he may be,  Dr. Stool adheres to the Hippocratic Oath, "Do no harm." Dr. Stool hopes his low brow brand of humor will remind you never to take his forecasts, and this business in general, too seriously. Trading and investing are gambling (just with different time horizons), and Wall Street is the House. 

Dr. Stool wants you to recognize that the investment community feeds you a steady diet of doo-doo every day. And they are certainly not doing it for fun. They actually expect you to eat it! They have a vested interest, and it's the House interest, not yours.

We at Capitalstool contrast Dr. Stool's offenses against the canons of good taste, with the behavior of those high priced Wall Street mouthpieces. They adhere to a different oath, the Hypocritical Oath. And they're about as funny as the funeral they sent your portfolio to this year.

As we approach the new year, Dr. Stool urges you not to listen to the analysts, but to think and act independently. Always beware of the madness of crowds. Read and learn as much as you can. Then use your common sense. 

Yes, there are some good honest professionals out there who can help you. There are services, like the Hulbert Financial Digest, who try to ferret those people out. Dr. Stool also recommends Prudentbear.com, which presents the fundamental side of the bearish case, and Bill Fleckenstein's column at Silicon Investor. All of this is information you can use to counterbalance the horseshit coming out of Wall Street. 

If you find a good advisor, treasure that person. But for heaven's sake avoid the brokerage firms. Like the Vegas casinos, they care about one thing and one thing only, which is how to separate you from your money.

And now, foregoing his usual cranky cynicism, Dr. Stool wishes Happy Holidays to all, and to all, a good night! 


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This book is a must for you Stooligans out there. The bible of cyclical analysis.
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