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Professional Courtesy's Just Been Shot To Pieces...


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#1 BAREister

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Posted 29 November 2002 - 09:21 PM

http://www.sacbee.co...p-6393675c.html

What IS this world COMING TO, ANYWAY? LOL

The BAREister can't think of anything CONSTRUCTIVE to add to this rather FRIVOLOUS post at the moment. He is in SHOCK.

He will add something beFUR the weekend's out.

Could this rally have spent itself THIS week? What a HOOT THAT would be.

Just like Ms Market to do something like that. Get the bulls all lathered up and then....WHAMMO!!! pull the rug out from underneath 'em.
"The sphinx set riddles for people which they could not solve and the sphinx devoured them." Russian poet Ilia Ehrenberg reflecting years later upon the debacle of the Bolshevik Revolution and civil war

"In any case, experience shows people are unlikely to change their ways without a cataclysm of existential proportions" Meinhard Meigel, German economist and demography expert on his prophecy of a Wagnerian abyss of social and economic chaos

"We believe that here is no easy way out of this mess, and that the chance of a benign outcome, while hopefully possible, is quite low." Comstock Partners 3-17-2005

"Not without a shudder may the human hand reach into the mysterious urn of destiny." Junk email promoting the sale of Valium, Viagra, Soma and Cialis. Of course, we AMERICANS need not WORRY about such CLAPTRAP!!!

"The trouble about myths, or lies, is that those who foster them are stuck with them." Edward Crankshaw

"I don't buy the idea that a crash will come without warning. There are always warnings. All crashes have certain common technical preconditions." Doc (snorjt)

"YOU look IMPORTANT. Are you important, or just....WEIRD?"
"Bob I am" at a political gathering, to HRFF, 9-29-04

"Are YOU C.I.A.???"
"No, I'm not "CIA"."
"Well, you sure LOOK LIKE you're C.I.A.!!!"

Lead singer of the rock band KISS to HRFF at a luggage carousel at SeaTac airport circa 1996

"Unlike you, I use words people can understand." Doc

"America at the moment, with its faith-based currency, faith-based economy and faith-based government, might be a heaven for those who love faith, but it's a hell for those of us that respect evidence." The Daily (W?)Reckoning, circa 9-17-04

"What should be clear at this point is that even huge fiscal stimulus and unprecedented financial excess are incapable of fostering a sound and self-sustaining economic expansion. The paramount issue, today and going forward, is the deeply maladjusted U.S. economy and its increasing unresponsiveness to even enormous yet misdirected financial stimulus. Both the Financial Sphere and Economic Sphere are severely maladjusted." Doug Noland's Credit Bubble Bulletin, Aug 24 '04

"U.S. dollar purchasing power relies almost entirely on the difference between interest rates in Japan and the higher rates in the United States." Warren Pollock, Prudent Bear essay circa 9-04

"What about your replacements? the Children. What do we tell them when the whole thing caves in?" HyperTiger

#2 alceringa

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Posted 29 November 2002 - 10:17 PM

Q. What's wrong with lawyer jokes?
A. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes.


More
"Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing...after they have exhausted all other possibilities."
Churchill

"You can fool some of the people all of the time."
Lincoln

"I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered."
Jefferson

#3 alceringa

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Posted 29 November 2002 - 10:22 PM

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a catfish.


More
"Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing...after they have exhausted all other possibilities."
Churchill

"You can fool some of the people all of the time."
Lincoln

"I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered."
Jefferson

#4 alceringa

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Posted 29 November 2002 - 10:32 PM

Washington State Attorney Season and Bag Limits
1300.01 GENERAL

1.Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.

2.Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.

3.Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.

4.It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.

5.It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

6.It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.

7.It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.

8.It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.

9.If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.

10.Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.

11.It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.



BAG LIMITS

Yellow Bellied Sidewinder-2

Two-faced Tort Feasor-1

Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator-4

Small-breasted Ball Buster (Female only) -3

Big-mouthed Pub Gut-2

Honest Attorney- EXTINCT

Cut-throat -2

Back-stabbing Whiner -2

Brown-nosed Judge Kisser -2

Silver-tongued Drug Defender -$100 BOUNTY

Hairy-assed Civil Libertarian -7
"Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing...after they have exhausted all other possibilities."
Churchill

"You can fool some of the people all of the time."
Lincoln

"I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered."
Jefferson

#5 summoner

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Posted 29 November 2002 - 10:32 PM

license plate on my soon to be purchased DIABLO ........LAWRSUK
" I' ve got a left handed hook and a right handed hook, the pros are gonna love me, I'm amphibious"

Charles Shackelford
NC STATE UNIVERSITY

#6 martialcomp

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Posted 30 November 2002 - 12:00 AM

Holy smokes! That harvesting list is GREAT! I will be giving that to some co-workers and relatives.

#7 BAREister

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Posted 30 November 2002 - 01:06 AM

Awwwww y'all r just JEALOUS...LOLOL

Tell HRFF: which are more POOPular: Lawyers or ... BONKERS?
"The sphinx set riddles for people which they could not solve and the sphinx devoured them." Russian poet Ilia Ehrenberg reflecting years later upon the debacle of the Bolshevik Revolution and civil war

"In any case, experience shows people are unlikely to change their ways without a cataclysm of existential proportions" Meinhard Meigel, German economist and demography expert on his prophecy of a Wagnerian abyss of social and economic chaos

"We believe that here is no easy way out of this mess, and that the chance of a benign outcome, while hopefully possible, is quite low." Comstock Partners 3-17-2005

"Not without a shudder may the human hand reach into the mysterious urn of destiny." Junk email promoting the sale of Valium, Viagra, Soma and Cialis. Of course, we AMERICANS need not WORRY about such CLAPTRAP!!!

"The trouble about myths, or lies, is that those who foster them are stuck with them." Edward Crankshaw

"I don't buy the idea that a crash will come without warning. There are always warnings. All crashes have certain common technical preconditions." Doc (snorjt)

"YOU look IMPORTANT. Are you important, or just....WEIRD?"
"Bob I am" at a political gathering, to HRFF, 9-29-04

"Are YOU C.I.A.???"
"No, I'm not "CIA"."
"Well, you sure LOOK LIKE you're C.I.A.!!!"

Lead singer of the rock band KISS to HRFF at a luggage carousel at SeaTac airport circa 1996

"Unlike you, I use words people can understand." Doc

"America at the moment, with its faith-based currency, faith-based economy and faith-based government, might be a heaven for those who love faith, but it's a hell for those of us that respect evidence." The Daily (W?)Reckoning, circa 9-17-04

"What should be clear at this point is that even huge fiscal stimulus and unprecedented financial excess are incapable of fostering a sound and self-sustaining economic expansion. The paramount issue, today and going forward, is the deeply maladjusted U.S. economy and its increasing unresponsiveness to even enormous yet misdirected financial stimulus. Both the Financial Sphere and Economic Sphere are severely maladjusted." Doug Noland's Credit Bubble Bulletin, Aug 24 '04

"U.S. dollar purchasing power relies almost entirely on the difference between interest rates in Japan and the higher rates in the United States." Warren Pollock, Prudent Bear essay circa 9-04

"What about your replacements? the Children. What do we tell them when the whole thing caves in?" HyperTiger

#8 alceringa

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Posted 30 November 2002 - 01:29 AM

The Original Professional Courtesy Joke

A lawyer and his two stockbroker buddies took a month off to sail across the Atlantic. Midway across they hit a hurricane and the yacht sank, leaving barely enough time for all three to radio for help and scramble into a rubber life raft.

The raft was riding very low in the water and being circled relentlessly by six or seven sharks when a Coast Guard launched a small rescue boat. A giant wave came along and swamped the survivor's raft. In an instant the sharks mauled the stockbrokers into little more than hamburger, but then broke apart to form a pathway and escort the survivor safely into the hands of the Coast Guard.

"Damn!" gasped one of the astonished sailors. "That was a miracle!"

"Nah," explained the lawyer modestly, wringing the seawater out of his shirt. "Just professional courtesy."

Link

===================
When that joke is considered funnier with the roles of the lawyer and the stockbrokers reversed, it will likely mean that THE bottom is near. :)
"Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing...after they have exhausted all other possibilities."
Churchill

"You can fool some of the people all of the time."
Lincoln

"I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered."
Jefferson

#9 BAREister

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Posted 30 November 2002 - 02:49 AM

If that's a link to LAWYER JOKES, Stool must THWART it!!!

Actually, the joke is about a lawyer, a priest and a doctor.
Their raft is leaking in shark-filled waters and they know only one person can make it to shore. They debate who is more valuable to socieity. The priest, being a good Christian, nobly sacrifices himself. The doctor, being a doctor and thinking he is GAWD doesn't want to got go, but the lawyer is better at arguing and the doctor loses, so he jumps overboard, and, like the priest, is devoured by sharks immediately. The lawyer paddles frantically for the shore but the raft leaks too fast and the horrified people on the beach watch as he stands up in the raft, and snaps his fingers. The sharks immediately stop circling, and, instead, line up in a row from the raft to the shore, nose to tail with their fins sticking out of the water. Checking to make sure his tie is straight, the lawyer grabs his briefcase, and, just as the raft is sinking under the water, calmly steps out of it onto the fin of the first shark and nonchalantly walks on the fins/backs of the sharks to the shore.
The awestruck crowd is speechless.
Finally a young lad breaks the silence: H-h-h-how did you do THAT, Mister?" he asks, incredulously.
The lawyer shrugs nonchalantly.
"Simple," he says, diffidently. "It was merely a matter of professional courtesy."

Be NICE to lawyers!!! After ALL, you may NEED one someday!
"The sphinx set riddles for people which they could not solve and the sphinx devoured them." Russian poet Ilia Ehrenberg reflecting years later upon the debacle of the Bolshevik Revolution and civil war

"In any case, experience shows people are unlikely to change their ways without a cataclysm of existential proportions" Meinhard Meigel, German economist and demography expert on his prophecy of a Wagnerian abyss of social and economic chaos

"We believe that here is no easy way out of this mess, and that the chance of a benign outcome, while hopefully possible, is quite low." Comstock Partners 3-17-2005

"Not without a shudder may the human hand reach into the mysterious urn of destiny." Junk email promoting the sale of Valium, Viagra, Soma and Cialis. Of course, we AMERICANS need not WORRY about such CLAPTRAP!!!

"The trouble about myths, or lies, is that those who foster them are stuck with them." Edward Crankshaw

"I don't buy the idea that a crash will come without warning. There are always warnings. All crashes have certain common technical preconditions." Doc (snorjt)

"YOU look IMPORTANT. Are you important, or just....WEIRD?"
"Bob I am" at a political gathering, to HRFF, 9-29-04

"Are YOU C.I.A.???"
"No, I'm not "CIA"."
"Well, you sure LOOK LIKE you're C.I.A.!!!"

Lead singer of the rock band KISS to HRFF at a luggage carousel at SeaTac airport circa 1996

"Unlike you, I use words people can understand." Doc

"America at the moment, with its faith-based currency, faith-based economy and faith-based government, might be a heaven for those who love faith, but it's a hell for those of us that respect evidence." The Daily (W?)Reckoning, circa 9-17-04

"What should be clear at this point is that even huge fiscal stimulus and unprecedented financial excess are incapable of fostering a sound and self-sustaining economic expansion. The paramount issue, today and going forward, is the deeply maladjusted U.S. economy and its increasing unresponsiveness to even enormous yet misdirected financial stimulus. Both the Financial Sphere and Economic Sphere are severely maladjusted." Doug Noland's Credit Bubble Bulletin, Aug 24 '04

"U.S. dollar purchasing power relies almost entirely on the difference between interest rates in Japan and the higher rates in the United States." Warren Pollock, Prudent Bear essay circa 9-04

"What about your replacements? the Children. What do we tell them when the whole thing caves in?" HyperTiger

#10 Complicated Gal

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Posted 30 November 2002 - 02:55 AM

Just wanna say hi :) , !!!!! Love you Guys keep up the good work!!!! Nice new board DOC.very easy to get around. Simple Guy keep up the great elliott wave posts.

#11 Guest_yobob1_*

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Posted 30 November 2002 - 09:53 AM

All of this and no concern for the shark. If he survives the "food poisoning" it'll take years for him to get the bad taste out of his mouth.

#12 BAREister

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Posted 30 November 2002 - 11:50 AM

ASS Calvin would say to Hobbes (re YoyoBob1's post):

HMMMMPPPPPPFFFFF!!!! :P :P :P

LMAZZOFF :lol: :D
"The sphinx set riddles for people which they could not solve and the sphinx devoured them." Russian poet Ilia Ehrenberg reflecting years later upon the debacle of the Bolshevik Revolution and civil war

"In any case, experience shows people are unlikely to change their ways without a cataclysm of existential proportions" Meinhard Meigel, German economist and demography expert on his prophecy of a Wagnerian abyss of social and economic chaos

"We believe that here is no easy way out of this mess, and that the chance of a benign outcome, while hopefully possible, is quite low." Comstock Partners 3-17-2005

"Not without a shudder may the human hand reach into the mysterious urn of destiny." Junk email promoting the sale of Valium, Viagra, Soma and Cialis. Of course, we AMERICANS need not WORRY about such CLAPTRAP!!!

"The trouble about myths, or lies, is that those who foster them are stuck with them." Edward Crankshaw

"I don't buy the idea that a crash will come without warning. There are always warnings. All crashes have certain common technical preconditions." Doc (snorjt)

"YOU look IMPORTANT. Are you important, or just....WEIRD?"
"Bob I am" at a political gathering, to HRFF, 9-29-04

"Are YOU C.I.A.???"
"No, I'm not "CIA"."
"Well, you sure LOOK LIKE you're C.I.A.!!!"

Lead singer of the rock band KISS to HRFF at a luggage carousel at SeaTac airport circa 1996

"Unlike you, I use words people can understand." Doc

"America at the moment, with its faith-based currency, faith-based economy and faith-based government, might be a heaven for those who love faith, but it's a hell for those of us that respect evidence." The Daily (W?)Reckoning, circa 9-17-04

"What should be clear at this point is that even huge fiscal stimulus and unprecedented financial excess are incapable of fostering a sound and self-sustaining economic expansion. The paramount issue, today and going forward, is the deeply maladjusted U.S. economy and its increasing unresponsiveness to even enormous yet misdirected financial stimulus. Both the Financial Sphere and Economic Sphere are severely maladjusted." Doug Noland's Credit Bubble Bulletin, Aug 24 '04

"U.S. dollar purchasing power relies almost entirely on the difference between interest rates in Japan and the higher rates in the United States." Warren Pollock, Prudent Bear essay circa 9-04

"What about your replacements? the Children. What do we tell them when the whole thing caves in?" HyperTiger

#13 richmtn

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Posted 30 November 2002 - 03:44 PM

Bwahahahahaahhahahaha! :lol:

The shark spit him out.

#14 anoscope

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Posted 30 November 2002 - 06:39 PM

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a catfish.


More

for the new board :)

Attached Images

  • No_Bull_3.gif


#15 Drano

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Posted 30 November 2002 - 07:18 PM

Hmmm, one of the classics is missing from this thread:

What do you say when you see a lawyer buried in sand up to his neck?

Not enough sand.
Of course I'm caustic!





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