Jump to content


Photo

Glossary Part 2


This topic has been archived. This means that you cannot reply to this topic.
343 replies to this topic

#1 wndysrf

wndysrf

    Dean of Stock Proctology

  • Banned
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 34,219 posts

Posted 05 September 2003 - 03:27 PM

The Mark To Market Glossary continues:

Animal Planet

Typical stock market action. Watching the tape is like the view from the Safari helicopter, watching the herds of Wildebeasts run wild in one direction, then switch off to the other direction. Motion chasers following the highest beta stocks, which ever one is moving the fastest. Chase them up as long as they are going up, sell at the slightest hint of weakness. Kind of like today’s action.

Barfing.com

Chief Bullhorner. Otherwise known as Briefing.com. Sole purpose is to collect anal cysts’ estimates, market estimates, and provide bullish market commentary for Yahoo Finance. Lead headlines on earnings announcements contain expressions such as “Blows Past Estimates”, or “Surges to New Highs”, or “Topping Views”.

Beat By A Penny

All earnings estimates and forecasts are conveniently dropped prior to the quarter end. That way, when the real earnings come out, the company always manages to “beat” the anal cysts’ recommendations by a “penny”. Then the press release hits the tape, announcing that the company “topped views” or “blew past estimates”, etc. Provides the illusion that the company’s performance is constantly improving. True intention by The Matrix is to use the “beat by a penny” results to initiate wild short squeezes in highly volatile tech stocks. Especially when the Pro-Forma losses are “less than expected before charges, ex-items.” No different than a man being victimized by a WonderBra.

Buddhadropping

Former contributor to Mark To Market. The Color Commentator, describing the blow by blow action in the Arena. Expert Stock Forensic anal cyst. Top gamer of criminal trends, such as Options Expiration, End of Month Markup, etc. Also known as Buddha, Buddhabro, Buddhabooty. Banned from all message boards. Last seen backpacking or white water rafting with large breasted Swedish divorcee. Current whereabouts unknown.

Bonks and Borkers

Otherwise known as New York Money Center Investment Banks and Brokerage Houses. Houses of Ill Repute. Flim Flam artists. Masters of Propaganda for The Matrix. Huge pump and dump operations. Research departments constantly bullhorning stocks they need to offload to the public, and downgrading commodities they are accumulating.

Boiler Rooms

The retail stock brokerage divisions of the Banks. Telemarketers busily working the phones, selling garbage stocks to hapless doctors, lawyers, and insurance adjustors. Stock recommendations in the form of “upgrades” and “compelling valuations” are bullhorned out to the boiler rooms via loudspeakers from the Matrix Propaganda (Stock Research) Departments. No different than the loudspeaker blaring from the villains in a James Bond movie, seconds before the missile is launched. Telemarketers taking instructions as to which stocks need to be blown out the door, so Da Boyz can short them for their bosses at the Hamptons.

BOJ

Bank of Japan. Most important Foreign Officer of The Matrix. The Central Bank which successfully engaged a massive short squeeze on the Nikkei at the recent lows, by forcing government pension plans to buy stocks. Currently engaged in a futile attempt to suppress the yen by buying a record $77 billion in U.S. Pesos this year. So far, they are even on the trade. Also largest purchaser of U.S. T-Bones on the planet. So far, that trade is in a losing position. Only developed country to be able to explode its debt to 300% of GDP and drive real interest rates to zero in order to jump start its economy. So far, its not working.

Michelle Caruso Cabrera

Another Large Breasted Commentator on C.N.B.C. Facial skin is pulled tighter than the wet skin on a bongo drum. Classic shrink wrapped rib cage and stick arms, unlike Maria Bartiromo’s. However, her razor lips are badly in need of some collagen to keep up with Maria’s.

C.N.B.C

Otherwise known as Crapvision, Bubblevision, The Recovery Channel, The Matrix Channel. Daily Bullhorning of stocks occurs here. Juicy anchors like Maria, Michelle, and Leslie. An infinite cast of seedy characters. Unfortunately, too many to list here.

James Cramer

Otherwise known as Jimmie Jones Cramer. Shamelessly pumps stocks daily on Kudlow and Cramer, forcing Joe Sixpack to drink the Koolaid. Wild and hysterical punk kid you knew from high school. The one who always threw a temper tantrum, and bragged of the most outrageous accomplishments. Former HedgeHog manager, founder of TheStreet.com. Famous for taking IPO tips from Maria during the go-go days of 1999 – 2000. The ultimate scam artist.

Dryhumping

Basic Animal Planet chasing of any stock that is moving north. If a stock is a top mover on the Nasdaq HeatMap, HedgeHog managers and Fumble Managers buy the stock immediately in a hysterical attempt to “catch up” from prior years’ losses. No research, no due diligence, no checking to see if the company even makes any money. Just chase the stock with a huge position until it stops moving. No different than a high school kid on a first date. No foreplay, no dinners, no 3 date rule. Doesn’t even wait to take her clothes off. Just jumps on her and goes for it until she says no.

Elaine Chao

Current Labor Secretary. Otherwise known as the “Mama-San”. Always dragged out on C.N.B.C. for an interview when the labor statistics come out. No matter how bad the unemployment is, she always maintains a cheery face with optimistic projections. No different than the Mama-San at the massage parlor. No matter how bad of an experience you had, or how skanky or disappointing the last session was, she greets you as if she has a perfect 19-year old Asian Exotica ready to pounce on you when you walk in. Promises you that “this time it will be different.” Of course, after you’ve paid the $60 bucks, you find out that nothing has changed.

And that was the big story today. The unemployment numbers failed to “Beat by a Penny”. That news was ignored, but later in the day, the market collapsed. From the intraday high to the intraday low, the Nasdaq lost about 30 points. Of course, Barfing.com reported that “Tech Stocks Remain Erratic in Late Trading”.

Tonight, we'll hear Kudlow and Cramer talk about the "profit taking".

How about "Wildebeast Exhaustion??"

What about "Boiler Room Exhaustion??"

How about "Bank of America Prime Brokerage Credit Lines Maxxed Out?"
PigMen Proprietary Trading Desk

The Weimar Run: Bullphoria!!!!

#2 machinehead

machinehead

    Dean of Stock Proctology

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 13,180 posts

Posted 05 September 2003 - 04:01 PM

Destruction leads to a very rough road
But it also breeds creation
And earthquakes are to a girl's guitar
They're just another good vibration
And tidal waves couldn't save the world
From Californication

First born unicorn
Hard core soft porn
Dream of Californication
Dream of Californication


- Red Hot Chili Peppers, Californication, 1999.

Unhappy girl
Fly fast away
Don't miss your chance
To swim in mystery
You are dying in a prison
Of your own devise


The Doors, Strange Days, 1967.

I love Los Angeles music. I love Los Angeles bands. The RHCP and the Doors are the best.

Thank you, Los Angeles.

Gracias nuestra senora la reina de Los Angeles.
"GOLD -- it's not just for misers anymore."

"Dollahs -- fire-starters for the K-wave winter." - Drano

"Three humps and a dump." - anotherone, 21 SEP 2004

"No gold was harmed in the making of this movie." - Bizarro Greenspan

[i]"Da Track. Da place where Morons bet on Animals Controlled by Criminals."
- our jickiss

#3 Farmer

Farmer

    Master of Stock Proctology

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,131 posts

Posted 05 September 2003 - 04:03 PM

Well, I thought trhat went well. <_< <_< <_<

#4 Stoolander

Stoolander

    Master of Stock Proctology

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,259 posts

Posted 05 September 2003 - 04:08 PM

Small bear victory today, with close near bottom of range. I sure don't like the way the bulls were able to get "back on the trendline" from 8/7 to 8/21 so easily, makes me a bit cautious.

Attached Images

  • 30905_spx_mp2.gif

Edited by Stoolander, 05 September 2003 - 05:40 PM.


#5 DrStool

DrStool

    Chief of Stock Proctology

  • Admin
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 83,383 posts

Posted 05 September 2003 - 04:11 PM

Your Closing Anals Intraday are now posted. Take a subscribatory, open it and download it RIGHT NOW, along with everything else in your Anals! 

Uncle Buck and the Long Bong Hit, including short and long term updated charts and price targets, is now loaded. Yields are high, and Uncle Buck is too. Take a subscribatory and get the latest whiff of the of the Long Bong Hit and Uncle Buck in the Anals RIGHT NOW!

If your portfolio has you feeling irregular, for fast, long lasting relief, take a subscribatory. And support your local Stool!

#6 wndysrf

wndysrf

    Dean of Stock Proctology

  • Banned
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 34,219 posts

Posted 05 September 2003 - 04:14 PM

We'll save these images in case some type of major top was put in today.

'Ya never know......

Attached Images

  • Dija9503.jpg

PigMen Proprietary Trading Desk

The Weimar Run: Bullphoria!!!!

#7 wndysrf

wndysrf

    Dean of Stock Proctology

  • Banned
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 34,219 posts

Posted 05 September 2003 - 04:14 PM

And the Nazdog:

Attached Images

  • Naz9303.jpg

PigMen Proprietary Trading Desk

The Weimar Run: Bullphoria!!!!

#8 RockLedge

RockLedge

    Master of Stock Proctology

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,390 posts

Posted 05 September 2003 - 04:18 PM

Maybe it's a sign of something...


ANAHEIM, Calif. - A locomotive broke loose from a train on Disneyland's Big Thunder Mountain Railroad attraction Friday, injuring at least 11 people, police said.

The roller coaster takes park visitors on a twisting, turning ride through mineshafts and caverns, past falling rocks and tumbling waterfalls.

("All I saw was this big golden train headed our way.... the light was so bright.")

#9 wndysrf

wndysrf

    Dean of Stock Proctology

  • Banned
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 34,219 posts

Posted 05 September 2003 - 04:22 PM

High volume reversal on this OSX screamer:

Attached Images

  • vrc1.gif

PigMen Proprietary Trading Desk

The Weimar Run: Bullphoria!!!!

#10 wndysrf

wndysrf

    Dean of Stock Proctology

  • Banned
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 34,219 posts

Posted 05 September 2003 - 04:23 PM

And the daily chart:

Attached Images

  • vrc2.gif

PigMen Proprietary Trading Desk

The Weimar Run: Bullphoria!!!!

#11

  • Guests
  • 0 posts

Posted 05 September 2003 - 04:28 PM

Little old KCS Energy doing its best to look like a high tech hottie today. Closes at 7.45 +.58 for the day easily breaking old 52 wk high of 7.15. Got gold? Got gas! :huh: :o :lol:

#12 Tchaikofsky

Tchaikofsky

    Doctor of Stock Proctology

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 2,244 posts

Posted 05 September 2003 - 04:29 PM

Gold futures at seven-month high
Metals indexes up nearly 2%; palladium contract rallies

By Myra P. Saefong, CBS.MarketWatch.com
Last Update: 4:17 PM ET Sept. 5, 2003

SAN FRANCISCO (CBS.MW) -- Gold futures climbed as much as $7 an ounce Friday, hitting their highest level since early February, as investors fell into line behind longer-term expectations of growing demand for the precious metal.

And palladium futures rallied to their highest levels since late March as traders bet demand will build on the back of an improving economy.

Gold for December delivery traded as high as $380.90 an ounce on the New York Mercantile Exchange -- a level not seen in seven months -- before closing at $378.70 an ounce, up $4.70. A week ago, the contract closed at $376.80.

"This market looks as it will see the $400 level sooner rather than later," said John Person, head financial anal cyst at Infinity Brokerage Services.

anal cysts noted that while an improving economy can ease investment demand in gold, it can also improve spending in the sector and stimulate jewelry demand for the metal.

Todd Hultman, president at Dailyfutures.com, a commodity information provider, said some recent economic data points -- such as the loss of 93,000 jobs in nonfarm U.S. payrolls for August reported Friday -- are "giving the market confidence that the Federal Reserve will continue to keep interest rates low despite the improving economy." See related story.

As result, gold may see the "best of both worlds" because gold producers "benefit from stronger economic demand, while the Fed pursues a policy that is making investors abandon the dollar," he said. Such a monetary would favor gold, said Hultman.

Grady Garrett, chief trading strategist at EnergyTrendAlert.com, a commodity information provider, said "a sustainable recovery in the economy is eventually going to produce inflation," something that could lift demand for gold.

Adding to the makings of a bull market in gold, there are "fresh concerns about increased government spending and increased future budget deficits," Hultman said.

While the metal is "looking a little overextended at the moment," TheBullionDesk.com anal cyst James Moore said there's "plenty of potential, medium to longer term, for further gains."

Weakness in the U.S. dollar Friday also contributed to strength in gold, which is often seen as an alternative currency and a hedge against financial losses.

#13 Crapper John

Crapper John

    Stock Proctology Intern

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 354 posts

Posted 05 September 2003 - 04:33 PM

Been gut shot too many times to short. Almost doubled my position today in BGO, hoping HUI cooperates and jumps the assymtopic 200 line.

Attached Images

  • snapshot_86.png


#14 Pere Ubu

Pere Ubu

    Stock Proctology Intern

  • Banned
  • Pip
  • 205 posts

Posted 05 September 2003 - 04:33 PM

Saturday, September 6, 2003

Japan-Sponsored APEC Joint Statement Fudges On Yuan
PHUKET, Thailand (Nikkei)

A.k.a. "Snow has to settle for Snow Job by local Mama-sans"

Japan's compromise plan formed the basis for a reference to the Chinese yuan in a joint statement issued Friday at the end of a meeting of finance ministers from the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) forum.

The statement, in principle, accepts China's current system, which effectively pegs the yuan to the dollar, but leaves open the possibility that China will revalue its currency in the future. It is the product of compromise between the U.S. and China, but the dispute will likely entail a long and intense debate among the countries involved, which have different positions on the matter, depending on how their interests would be affected by the yuan's revaluation.

[ snip ]

Snow probably did not expect to secure China's commitment to strengthen the yuan, knowing full well that China would react strongly against such a request and that it could receive little support from other Asian countries on this matter.

Snow insisted on the need for a flexible foreign exchange system at the meeting, but only Japan and South Korea -- among 21 nations and regions -- agreed with the U.S. position.

[ Trans: He was perceived as a supplicant to China. ]

[ snip ]

China fiercely resisted the U.S. proposal, repeating that it had the right to design its own forex system as it pleased.

"We are very satisfied with the statement expressing the correct view," Vice Finance Minister Lou Jiwei said during the joint news conference.

He said it would be difficult to immediately abandon the current system, but indicated that the Chinese government will consider expanding the range of the yuan's conversion rate in the future.

[ Trans: If and when we damm well please. ]

Hong Kong and Malaysia were among the Asian participants that supported China's position. Since many countries have pegged their currencies to the dollar, they see the yuan problem as their own.

"China's forex system is its own business," said Thaksin Shinawatra, the prime minister of host nation Thailand.

Japan finds itself in a more complicated position. Manufacturers in both the U.S. and Japan bear the brunt of cheap Chinese imports. But the Japanese government conducts large yen-selling interventions to prevent the yen from strengthening sharply, drawing the ire of Snow and other U.S. government officials. It is willing to side with the U.S. on the yuan's revaluation, but also wants to fend off criticism regarding its interventions.

Translated from The Nihon Keizai Shimbun Saturday morning edition

#15 wndysrf

wndysrf

    Dean of Stock Proctology

  • Banned
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 34,219 posts

Posted 05 September 2003 - 04:34 PM

Top Weekly Screamers:

IBPI +120%, DXYN +79%, CDEN +62%, ISSI +33%, SGR +33%, SLXP +31%, BEAV +30%, CRWN +24%, AVNX +23%, AMR +22%, CIPH +19%, IMMR +18%, MTSN +18%, TERN +17%, RSTI +13%, ONNN +12%, OBAS +11%, FLML +11%, AMD +11%, KVHI +11%.

Top Weekly Moaners:

TRY -67%, RARE -32%, CERS -30%, FTUS -20%, WLT -17%, PTMK -13%, QUIK -13%, RCOM -12%, DV -12%, ODP -12%, OTE -12%, CBK -11%, PBG -11%, CRL -11%, RSA -11%, ASHW -11%, PGTV -10%, GPS -10%, HLTH -10%, MNTR -9%, PIR -9%, ANPI -9%.
PigMen Proprietary Trading Desk

The Weimar Run: Bullphoria!!!!





Stock market portfolio giving you the runs? See Dr. Stool.

Take a subscribatory!
Download 
The Anals of Stock Proctology now!



The Daily Stool - Stock Market Message Board
Stool's Gold- Gold and Precious Metals Forum
Look Out Below Message Board

Support your local Stool Board.


The Al E. Greenspeuman designer line at Stoolmart. Get yours today! Click here now!
Get Mugged!


Dr. Stool's
Book Search

Enter title, author, or keyword
Just books
All Products





Old Stool Depository

Live Steaming Pile Chart