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Stranger Than Fiction, Part 3


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#1

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Posted 01 August 2003 - 07:01 AM

Truth is Stranger than Fiction
===============================

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21, and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

************************************

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

************************************

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, a woman new to boating was having a problem. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get her brand new 22-ft Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't get on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power she applied.

After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong.

A thorough topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

(wait for it........)

(remember, this is supposed to be true.......)

Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

************************************


From MountainWings.com – The Daily Inspirational Email

#2 Charliss

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Posted 01 August 2003 - 07:41 AM

10 yr- 4.57

POG- 351.40

#3 Bastiat

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Posted 01 August 2003 - 08:10 AM

So much for the 38.2% retrace on bond yields. We appear to have blown through that this morning. From yesterday (at lower yields and presumably narrower spreads):

Thursday July 31, 5:57 pm ET
By Eric Burroughs

NEW YORK, July 31 (Reuters) - U.S. swap spreads blew
sharply wider on Thursday, suffering one of their worst weeks
since the 1998 LTCM crisis as the big rise in benchmark yields
had mortgage investors hammering the market with heavy
hedging.

Five- and 10-year spreads widened dramatically, by more
than 8 basis points, in what traders described as a market in
which it was increasingly difficult to get trades done and
where dealers are struggling with the overwhelming needs of the
mortgage universe.

"This can't go on for much longer because the market can't
take this. Someone's going to get into trouble," said one head
trader at a U.S. bank.

Upbeat data showing unexpectedly strong second-quarter
economic growth, better factory output in the Chicago area and
still-declining jobless claims drove up 10-year Treasury yields
and swap rates by as much as 30 basis points during the day,
unleashing the latest round of mortgage activity.

Swap spreads came under repeated fire from mortgage
accounts grappling with major extension of the duration in
their portfolios that forces them to adjust quickly, either by
selling Treasuries or doing the equivalent in swaps, paying
fixed rates.

The duration dilemma has been compounded because mortgage
security coupons shrank as yields hit 45-year lows, making them
even more sensitive to the nearly 1.5 percentage point jump in
yields in the past six weeks. The selling drives yields still
higher and causes yet more big hedging from the $4.9 trillion
mortgage universe.

Everyone from Fannie Mae (NYSE:FNM - News) and Freddie Mac (NYSE:FRE - News) to major banks holding mortgage-backed securities is forced to cut down the rapidly expanding duration, traders said.
"Any mortgage holder is getting demolished here," one trader said.

Ten-year spreads shot up an unprecedented 8-1/2 basis
points to 58-1/2 basis points over Treasury yields and are now
nearly 17 basis points higher for the week. Five-year spreads
skyrocketed 58 basis points from 49-3/4 on Wednesday and 40-1/2
last Friday.

"The violence of the move has been astonishing," said Eric
Hiller, head of interest rate research at Banc of America
Securities (News - Websites). "Ninety-nine percent of it is mortgage related."

Two-year spreads have also been crushed as the stock
market's ongoing gains and optimism on the economy have erased
all remaining hopes for another Federal Reserve rate cut. Some
investors are even thinking about rate hikes. The two-year
spread is out to 28 basis points from 20 late last week.

Hiller said the move was not related to credit worries in
the banking system, as sometimes can be the case in the swaps
market. Last year swap spreads popped wider when unfounded
rumors swirled about credit problems at J.P. Morgan Chase.

The selling pressure has been relentless this week and has
resulted in spreads suffering their worst widening since the
bond market's last mortgage-related plunge in late-2001 and
even the crisis days of 1998, when the giant hedge fund
Long-Term Capital Management nearly collapsed.

Making matters worse for swaps is the hefty widening of
agency spreads on reports the European Central Bank was
trimming its holdings of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac debt. Both
agency and swap spreads tend to influence and sometimes
reinforce each other.

#4 machinehead

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Posted 01 August 2003 - 08:21 AM

Uncle Al goes for the $50 billion progressive jackpot on the employment report.

(Ace paparazzo Yanevano gets the credit for this dramatic candid shot, posted in M2M last night.)

Posted Image
"GOLD -- it's not just for misers anymore."

"Dollahs -- fire-starters for the K-wave winter." - Drano

"Three humps and a dump." - anotherone, 21 SEP 2004

"No gold was harmed in the making of this movie." - Bizarro Greenspan

[i]"Da Track. Da place where Morons bet on Animals Controlled by Criminals."
- our jickiss

#5 Bearman

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Posted 01 August 2003 - 08:25 AM

:o US U03 106060 106080 104060 104200 -1000


YEWE already takin :o

#6 Bearman

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Posted 01 August 2003 - 08:27 AM

Spiral week NUKED the Bond mk :o

#7 DrStool

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Posted 01 August 2003 - 08:29 AM

Liquidty Measures Shrink!

Fed Releases Turds Day update is now posted! Once a week Doc fills you in on the all important Fed Turdsday releases. Doc gives you his briefs, on the charts of the Fed's most important money and credit measures. Take a subscribatory and download your Fed Turdsday Releases RIGHT NOW! so you can see Doc's briefs.

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#8 Dharmaeye

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Posted 01 August 2003 - 08:32 AM

Wow.
Gap on bonds.

#9 machinehead

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Posted 01 August 2003 - 08:35 AM

Rick Santelli: "Last week banks sold $70 BILLION in fixed-income securities, the largest total since record keeping started in 1947.

"The FIRE IS STILL RAGING in the fixed income markets. Short rates now discounting Fed TIGHTENING istead of easing." :o
"GOLD -- it's not just for misers anymore."

"Dollahs -- fire-starters for the K-wave winter." - Drano

"Three humps and a dump." - anotherone, 21 SEP 2004

"No gold was harmed in the making of this movie." - Bizarro Greenspan

[i]"Da Track. Da place where Morons bet on Animals Controlled by Criminals."
- our jickiss

#10 summoner

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Posted 01 August 2003 - 08:37 AM

Al on the phone as we speak to Georgie all hell gonna break lose? June numbers revised upward July much worse than predicted!
" I' ve got a left handed hook and a right handed hook, the pros are gonna love me, I'm amphibious"

Charles Shackelford
NC STATE UNIVERSITY

#11 The Mad Hungarian

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Posted 01 August 2003 - 08:37 AM

machinehead,
Did you notice Santelli wearing a pair of binoculars around his neck? Couldn't help but think he looked like a "railbird" at Aqueduct as the nags were heading down the stretch! :grin:

#12 Dharmaeye

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Posted 01 August 2003 - 08:39 AM

Future spx 985.44

#13 GregFokker

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Posted 01 August 2003 - 08:39 AM

machinehead,
Did you notice Santelli wearing a pair of binoculars around his neck? Couldn't help but think he looked like a "railbird" at Aqueduct as the nags were heading down the stretch! :grin:

:lol:

...A declining spenglerian carnival of Colossaalism united with Inflation where the numbers one through 10 are forever banished as worthless arithmetical detritus from a bygone age... - Beardrech

Naturally we believe the govt numbers... and Boobus Americanus sleepwalks off the edge of the energy-crisis cliff clutching his shares of "Crisco", Yoohoo and GooGah munching on his Yum Yums and Ho Hos. Future historians will have a hell of a time figuring out what the hell Americanus neanderthalus was thinking and exactly what brought on his sudden demise... - Henny Penny

Well, good night everyone. I gotta go lube up for tomorrow's regular end-of-week Gold Slapdown and Stock Index Bear Punishment Rally Weekend Greenprint. ...Probably another Shock-and-Awe Gap-Up-Open and Wire-to-Wire Meltup Runaway Bull Charge Mo-Mo Spike to Fresh New All-Time Lifetime Highs, culminating in a 4:15 yelping scalded dog runoff with panic short-covering and legal not-held bad double fills due to fast market conditions, plus quote system freeze-ups and trading platform lock-outs along the way. *yawn* typical gov't Friday. - Shorty


#14 Bearman

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Posted 01 August 2003 - 08:42 AM

we are on the edge of something "Blackhole"?

History is being made . The outcome?

#15 DrStool

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Posted 01 August 2003 - 08:43 AM

I'd like to breifly restate forum rules.

In general, observe copyrights. Please post only a snippet and a link to copyrighted material. Do not repost any articles in full without the publisher's permission.

IDS is for short, trading related posts, news bulletins, and humorous diversions. Longer posts should go on Look Out Below, or other appropriate forum.

No attacks on fellow stoolies. If you have a beef with someone, take it up privately via email or private message.

No sexist or racist remarks, or ethnic stereotyping. I am cracking down on this stuff as of now. Fair warning.

No political comments on this thread. Political comments belong on the Political Stool forum.

Moderators are instructed to delete posts which violate these guidelines, after counting to 10 and applying reasonable judgement.

If we all follow these simple requests, everyone's experience here on IDS will be enhanced. It's ok to have fun with off topic stuff. Just keep it short.

Many tanks!

Doc

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