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Tomorrows Fed Press Conference Preview


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#1 Ags Nightmare

Ags Nightmare

    Associate Professor of Stock Proctology

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Posted 26 April 2011 - 12:10 PM

I’m excited a lot and I am sure you are too. Tomorrow is the big day when Ben Bernank presses the meet in what promises to be an extravaganza extraordinaire. The who’s who of front running and rigging will all be there for a gala event paid for with freshly printed tax payer dollars. I got a peek at some of the press conference stage sets and they are just awesome. I also witnessed this mornings walk through as planted reporters practiced asking their pre screened statements of adulation. I found out no one will get to ask any questions except one guy, Steve Lies Man. Apparently Steve will answer his question for Ben then attendees will break ranks and head to Turbo Timmy’s Hampton retreat for a five day bash. This will basically be mostly a photo shoot with a few jokes about the dollar and foreclosure squatters. You see it really isn’t a press conference but a celebration of a great man. This event promises to raise the roof right off the debt ceiling. First let’s look at the set. I climbed the parking lot fence and crawled into the balcony and it looks pretty cool in here. [...]

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"I went out and bought an Apple Computer; it had a worm in it"....."When I was born, I was so ugly that the doctor slapped my mother"....'I played hide and seek; they wouldn't even look for me.'- Rodney Dangerfield

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