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The Bernank’s First Fed Press Conference Transcripts


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#1 Ags Nightmare

Ags Nightmare

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Posted 01 April 2011 - 01:32 PM

“Welcome to Ben Bernank’s first of four press conferences hosted by CNBS. I am your emcee, Jimmy Jones Cramit. The rules are one question and one question only. There will be no follow up questions. If you don’t agree to the rules, ski daddy out of here right now. Ben is an American Hero. He made me more money than any inside information tipper I used in my illustrious career as a book selling pump monkey. Let’s welcome the greatest and most powerful unelected official on the face of the earth, Ben Bernank.” Bernank: “Thank you all. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. Please. Thank you. Honestly. That’s enough folks. Please. Thank you. Thank You. I know, I know. Love you too Stretch. Marrissa, how are you? Hello Becky! Thank you. Please.” Jimmy Cramit: “Great to see you again Ben. Got any inside info for me! (reporters guffaw) Just kidding. Just kidding. OK. Remember the rules folks. One question no follow up. This is all about transparency.” Reporter: “Thank you for all you have done Chairman. Can you tell me how the Fed can get away with outwardly admitting that they are rigging the stock market since that is [...]

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