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I Want To Be First In Line

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#1 Ags Nightmare

Ags Nightmare

    Associate Professor of Stock Proctology

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Posted 24 November 2010 - 04:43 PM

If there was ever a song that describes what I feel about Black Friday, it’s Green Day’s American Idiot. Don’t want to be an American idiot. Don’t want a nation under the new media And can you hear the sound of hysteria? The subliminal mind f*** America. Our country’s annual celebration of consumerism on crack is about to begin again. This is what we manufacture. Lunacy. The new twist to this year’s mob festival is that greedy merchants have said screw you to Thanksgiving and will be open for business on Thursday. Are you kidding me? My hope again this year is that nobody gets killed after the doors open Friday morning and that shoppers can peacefully go home with their new flat screen TV’s. With that said, a Stoopid Award goes out to this couple who pitched a gadget base camp in front of a Best Buy to be first in line. Their reward? They get to spend a lot of money on crap and gadgets. For this great act of American Idiocy, Crapple gave them a couple of iPads for free. Awesome. Not sure about the service contract for the next year which could run them a grand. [...]

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"I went out and bought an Apple Computer; it had a worm in it"....."When I was born, I was so ugly that the doctor slapped my mother"....'I played hide and seek; they wouldn't even look for me.'- Rodney Dangerfield

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