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alceringa

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alceringa last won the day on July 4 2012

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About alceringa

  • Birthday 09/09/2001

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Assistant Professor of Stock Proctology

Assistant Professor of Stock Proctology (5/9)

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  1. From Sunday December 1, 2002 NY Times...... 16-Year Slump? If So, Blame It on the Boomers By MARK HULBERT A new study of American demographic patterns and the stock market predicts that while the market may rally periodically, its overall direction will be downward until around 2018. This bearish forecast is based on a model devised by three finance professors ? John Geanakoplos of Yale, Michael J. P. Magill of the University of Southern California and Martine Quinzii of the University of California at Davis. In a study titled "Demography and the Long-Run Predictability of the Stock Market", they report that their model has done a good job of explaining the bull and bear markets of the last century..... The professors' approach is complex, but it depends on a simple indicator: the ratio of the number of middle-aged people to the number of young adults in the population. When this ratio rises, the overall market's price-to-earnings ratio will rise, too, the professors predict. When the age ratio declines, as it is likely to do until about 2018, the market's P/E will also decline..... ....... according to the model, which predicts that the market has entered a long decline caused by baby boomers selling stocks as they approach retirement. The sales will be only partially offset by the purchases of the smaller group entering middle age. The model predicts that this long-term trend will not turn positive again until after 2018......Full Article Free Registration with the NY Times may be required.
  2. That's hilarious..... Here's the original....... Who's On First....
  3. The Original Professional Courtesy Joke A lawyer and his two stockbroker buddies took a month off to sail across the Atlantic. Midway across they hit a hurricane and the yacht sank, leaving barely enough time for all three to radio for help and scramble into a rubber life raft. The raft was riding very low in the water and being circled relentlessly by six or seven sharks when a Coast Guard launched a small rescue boat. A giant wave came along and swamped the survivor's raft. In an instant the sharks mauled the stockbrokers into little more than hamburger, but then broke apart to form a pathway and escort the survivor safely into the hands of the Coast Guard. "Damn!" gasped one of the astonished sailors. "That was a miracle!" "Nah," explained the lawyer modestly, wringing the seawater out of his shirt. "Just professional courtesy." Link =================== When that joke is considered funnier with the roles of the lawyer and the stockbrokers reversed, it will likely mean that THE bottom is near.
  4. Washington State Attorney Season and Bag Limits 1300.01 GENERAL 1.Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys. 2.Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited. 3.Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash. 4.It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft. 5.It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys. 6.It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships. 7.It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys. 8.It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals. 9.If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it. 10.Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin. 11.It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys. BAG LIMITS Yellow Bellied Sidewinder-2 Two-faced Tort Feasor-1 Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator-4 Small-breasted Ball Buster (Female only) -3 Big-mouthed Pub Gut-2 Honest Attorney- EXTINCT Cut-throat -2 Back-stabbing Whiner -2 Brown-nosed Judge Kisser -2 Silver-tongued Drug Defender -$100 BOUNTY Hairy-assed Civil Libertarian -7
  5. What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a catfish. More
  6. Q. What's wrong with lawyer jokes? A. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes. More
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