Guest Posted July 29, 2003 Report Share Posted July 29, 2003 Truth is Stranger than Fiction =============================== Drug Possession Defendant, Christopher Jansen, on trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun. "Nonsense," said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself. ********************* Oklahoma City: Dennis Newton was on trial in a district court for the armed robbery of a convenience store when he fired his lawyer. Assistant District Attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, "I should have blown your (expletive) head off." The defendant paused, then quickly added, "if I'd been the one that was there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30-year sentence. ********************* R.C. Gaitlan, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officer asked him for identification. Gaitlan gave them his drivers license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlan because information on the screen showed Gaitlan was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri. ********************* From MountainWings.com ? The Daily Inspirational Email Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrStool Posted July 29, 2003 Report Share Posted July 29, 2003 Good morning and Good Stool to all! As you know, in order to maintain physical, emotional, and financial health, it is very important that you download your Anals regularly. If you are unable to download your Anals, take a subscribatory and download them RIGHT NOW, and every day from now on. When you download your Anals each day, you'll get Doc's latest unbiased Hurst cycle projections for both the short and long term, plus the opening and closing Anals update each day, along with one in mid afternoon. Other daily features are your Golden Stool, which no self-respecting stoolie should leave behind. And of course the Feed from Uncle Al Greasepan. How do you expect to know how things will come out unless you know what's going in! Then in the late PM, after the Treasury market close, get the latest on the Long Bong Hit and Uncle Buck. With the Long Bong Hit, yields get higher and Uncle Buck is feelin' low.? Your Golden Stool, including short and long term updated charts and price targets, is loaded each morning. Even if you are not a goldbug, you should check out the Golden Stool, a daily Anals release. Take a subscribatory and get the latest release of the Golden Stool from your Anals RIGHT NOW! Don't miss another Golden Stool! Wednesday is MoGauge Day, and then the Fed Releases Turds day! Once a week Doc will fill you in on the all important MoGauge, straight from the MoGauge Bankers Ass. Then Turdsday it's the all important Fed Turdsday releases, where Doc gives you his briefs, on the charts of the Fed's most important money and credit measures. Not quite Hypertiger stuff, (HT, we love you man!) but always pithy and insightful. The MoGauge reflects the source of most of the liquidity in the financial bubble world and may be a more important indicator of future market behavior than even the Feed. Lately The MoGauge has had a near flawless record of forecasting broad market movements weeks in advance. You knew that Dr. Stool is an egg spurt on Natural Gas. Doc assures you there is no finer gas than your Natural Gas. You can get the scent of your Natural Gas in today's Suctor Watch. Remember, it was Doc who warned you long ago not to hold your Gas! It's time to let go of your Gas. See for yourself in today's Natural Gas release in Suctor Watch.. If you are unable to get your release of Natural Gas, take a subscribatory to the Anals, and get the Gas release you're looking for RIGHT NOW! Look for trading opportunities and clues to the market's direction in Suctors and Stoolwethers. Doc presents cycle charts with price targets on the leading big crap stocks and hot market suctors on alternate days, for your viewing and listening pleasure. You know about the GM Stoolwether theory. As goes GM, so goes the market. Follow General McClellan and General Custer and other great market generals like Your BM, AhOL, Mister Softee, and ten other Stoolwethers in today's Suctors and Stoolwthers update. Know which way the stool's gonna fly with these cycle charts and price targets. Keep your nose to the wind with these Stoolwethers, another regular feature in your Anals. Take a subscribatory and download 'em RIGHT NOW! Updated Stoolwethers and Suctors are usually released in your Anals on alternate days around 8:30 AM NY time. Of course, Don't forget those great bookstore specials! Doc's bookstore carries virtually all of the great trading and investing books ever written, usually at the best prices on the web. When you have free time, please browse the bookstore and be sure to check out Dr. Stool's prescriptions.? Please note the "Ads by Google" in the left column. Here on the board's content pages they are all public service ads, since Google does not have the opportunity to spider the pages to determine content in advance. However, on the topic list pages there are a number of ads relevant to us Stoolies. Please be sure to stop and have a look at them once or twice a day. There might be something there for you.? In these difficult times, The American Society of Shortsellers needs your support. You can support your ASS by using the Pooper Scooper or Donate buttons located throughout the Stool. It's always good to leave a little behind to support Dr. Stool and your ASS, as he continues his humanitarian work on your behalf. Last but not least, if you are interested in fine tuning your timing, and who isn't, Stooltrading is the place for you. Doc gives commentary and illustrations of intraday cycles throughout the day with projections for highs, lows, and cycle time turns for the SPX and QQQ that are frequently right on the money. He also gives cmap targets for individual stocks by request. Plus several of your fellow stoolies share their charts and trading ideas as well. There are no superstars in Stooltrading, just Doc and a group of hard working Stoolies, honestly trying to help each other and themselves, constantly checking and balancing one another's views. Yes, it's always good to have checks and balances. The more checks the more the balances. So take a subscribatory to Stooltrading RIGHT NOW, and increase your checks and balances! Click Here Many tanks for your support and have a Stool day!? See you in Stooltrading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrStool Posted July 29, 2003 Report Share Posted July 29, 2003 Doc and Madame Stool will be retrieving Ma and Pa Stool at Dorval Airport this afternoon, as they arrive for a visit to Chalet Stool at Lac Sourris. The closing Anals update and the regular Anals, as well as Uncle Buck and the Long Bong Hit will not be published this evening. Regular publication will resume Wednesday morning. As most of you know, Dad Stool, at the ripe young age of 88, has been putting up a valiant fight against pancreatic cancer since last fall. He is a real trooper, and sends his thanks for the many prayers and well wishes sent by Stoolies. I continue to ask your prayers and support for both him and Ma Stool, who has also been a tower of strength and support for Dad. The Dad of Mousey Dung has a real serious fight with health issues on his hands, following years of a debilitating chronic illness. Doc and Madame send their prayers, and ask that Stoolies send theirs to Mousey's Dad, and of course to Mousey and family. All the best to you Mousey Dad! You are in the hearts and prayers of Stoolies the world over! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 29, 2003 Report Share Posted July 29, 2003 WHY YOU SHOULDN'T BELIEVE THE NEW JOBLESS STATS http://www.nypost.com/business/1739.htm SOS (same ol' stool) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GregFokker Posted July 29, 2003 Report Share Posted July 29, 2003 Doc and Madame Stool will be retrieving Ma and Pa Stool at Dorval Airport this afternoon, as they arrive for a visit to Chalet Stool at Lac Sourris. The closing Anals update and the regular Anals, as well as Uncle Buck and the Long Bong Hit will not be published this evening. Regular publication will resume Wednesday morning. As most of you know, Dad Stool, at the ripe young age of 88, has been putting up a valiant fight against pancreatic cancer since last fall. He is a real trooper, and sends his thanks for the many prayers and well wishes sent by Stoolies. I continue to ask your prayers and support for both him and Ma Stool, who has also been a tower of strength and support for Dad. The Dad of Mousey Dung has a real serious fight with health issues on his hands, following years of a debilitating chronic illness. Doc and Madame send their prayers, and ask that Stoolies send theirs to Mousey's Dad, and of course to Mousey and family. All the best to you Mousey Dad! You are in the hearts and prayers of Stoolies the world over! Fokker lost his beloved grandmother (Lil) 3 years ago to pancreatic cancer. Here are her last words as her husband (Mac), her children, and me, one of the grandchildren, stood around the bed. Lil: "Honey?" Mac : "I'm here, honey." Lil: "If you remarry, make sure you don't marry a shlock." Mac, laughing: "I won't remarry." Lil: "Well, if you do." Mrs. Fokker (Fokker's mom): "Don't worry, Ma, even if he does, she'll never find the family jewels." Lil, chuckles: "With the state my asshole's in, no one will ever find the family jewels." And that was that. Fokker was very close to his grandma, and misses her very much. But he doesn't mourn her, because she kicked ass to the very last. All, send a prayer to Doc's and Mousey's pops, and to each of them too, that they don't waste the time that's given them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wndysrf Posted July 29, 2003 Report Share Posted July 29, 2003 10-Year T-Bond gapping down on the open. Yield now in the 4.3% area. Bond investors, GSE investors are placing their entire liquidation proceeds into Asian Exotica stocks. What a market. Anything goes..................... Anything can happen................ Including Nasdaq 2500 by September. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearman Posted July 29, 2003 Report Share Posted July 29, 2003 Evans-Snow on crapview Takin up the Econ they better talk up the bonds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machinehead Posted July 29, 2003 Report Share Posted July 29, 2003 You knew it was coming. We've all been waiting for this moment. Well, it's arrived: "After being all but wiped out by a near-record bear market and crash of Internet stocks, day traders are sheepishly reappearing." But there are ... how shall we put it delicately ... some historical sensitivities involved here: "This time, though, day traders are different ? in fact, many are even dropping the day-trader moniker for more professional sounding names, such as semi-pro traders or swing traders." HAhahahahahaHHAAA. Maybe someday they'll graduate to being stool traders ... if they don't get blown out first. Daytraders make a comeback Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearman Posted July 29, 2003 Report Share Posted July 29, 2003 Evans Quote " Economy spring loaded to go up" Yea Higher debt with higher long term interest rates Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GregFokker Posted July 29, 2003 Report Share Posted July 29, 2003 Evans Quote " Economy spring loaded to go up" Yea Higher debt with higher long term interest rates Makes you think of Wile E. Coyote with the huge spring against the boulder. He lifts his feet and doesn't budge while the spring explodes out, taking off his fur. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strikerm3 Posted July 29, 2003 Report Share Posted July 29, 2003 Doc and Madame Stool will be retrieving Ma and Pa Stool at Dorval Airport this afternoon, as they arrive for a visit to Chalet Stool at Lac Sourris. The closing Anals update and the regular Anals, as well as Uncle Buck and the Long Bong Hit will not be published this evening. Regular publication will resume Wednesday morning. As most of you know, Dad Stool, at the ripe young age of 88, has been putting up a valiant fight against pancreatic cancer since last fall. He is a real trooper, and sends his thanks for the many prayers and well wishes sent by Stoolies. I continue to ask your prayers and support for both him and Ma Stool, who has also been a tower of strength and support for Dad. The Dad of Mousey Dung has a real serious fight with health issues on his hands, following years of a debilitating chronic illness. Doc and Madame send their prayers, and ask that Stoolies send theirs to Mousey's Dad, and of course to Mousey and family. All the best to you Mousey Dad! You are in the hearts and prayers of Stoolies the world over! Fokker lost his beloved grandmother (Lil) 3 years ago to pancreatic cancer. Here are her last words as her husband (Mac), her children, and me, one of the grandchildren, stood around the bed. Lil: "Honey?" Mac : "I'm here, honey." Lil: "If you remarry, make sure you don't marry a shlock." Mac, laughing: "I won't remarry." Lil: "Well, if you do." Mrs. Fokker (Fokker's mom): "Don't worry, Ma, even if he does, she'll never find the family jewels." Lil, chuckles: "With the state my asshole's in, no one will ever find the family jewels." And that was that. Fokker was very close to his grandma, and misses her very much. But he doesn't mourn her, because she kicked ass to the very last. All, send a prayer to Doc's and Mousey's pops, and to each of them too, that they don't waste the time that's given them. Sorry guys. Keep them fighting doc!...Fokker its good that your grandma spent her last moments with those she loved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrStool Posted July 29, 2003 Report Share Posted July 29, 2003 or Nasdaq 1100. No more bears anywhere. Hyper bullish sentiment. Hyper speculation in a tiny handful of stocks. Daily sightings of flying shit. Endemic fraud and corruption. Trade conflicts. Liquidity collapsing. Bond market meltdown. Dollar weak. Stock market running on fumes and memories. It's almost August, when both 1929 and 1987 topped out. The conditions today are virtually the same, only bigger and more systemic, because residential real estate and residential mortgages are at the core of the situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mad Hungarian Posted July 29, 2003 Report Share Posted July 29, 2003 Another sign that the bubble is back: Ryan Jacob of Internet Fund fame was on Crapvision this morning talking about one of Mark's Asian Exoticas: SINA. I laugh every time I see Ryan or the guys from the original Internet Fund on TV, I used to work with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alceringa Posted July 29, 2003 Report Share Posted July 29, 2003 One more stranger than fiction story for the file............. Man who beat fiancee with cat faces animal cruelty charges A German man who whipped his fiancee with a cat faces prosecution under strict animal-rights laws. The 43-year-old, of Ludwigslust, picked up the cat and repeatedly beat his fiancee with it while he was drunk. It isn't known whether the 49-year-old woman would file charges of assault. She suffered cuts and bruises. The cat died during the attack. Story filed: 10:07 Tuesday 29th July 2003 Link Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wndysrf Posted July 29, 2003 Report Share Posted July 29, 2003 NTES now up $6 in the PreMarket. Most likely, this will play out as a huge gap and crap. Stock is way overextended out of its channel. Extreme Sports Bears should short it on the open. Asian Madness continues............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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