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Fed Attempts "Extreme Makeover"


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From the current issue of People Magazine:

 

After ABC?s Extreme Makeover,

 

http://abc.go.com/primetime/extrememakeove...er/gallery.html

 

many Americans have decided to ?revamp? themselves via plastic surgery, despite the serious health consequences.

 

When Alicia Quinones, was warned by her plastic surgeon of the risks ?ranging from infection to death?, she ?couldn?t get there fast enough?.

 

Eighteen months ago, she was a size 24. Now, after a gastric bypass, her 130 lb. weight loss created huge sag bags. ?I wanted to be fabulous?, she says, so she checked into a Beverly Hills clinic for a tummy tuck and thigh lift. A week later, breast implants. A week after that, teeth bleaching and gum recontouring.

 

Total cost: $35,000

 

Now she?s moved in with her mom and sister while she pays off her debt.

 

For the guys, it gets even more extreme.

 

David Bandas was tired of being the ?funny, fat kid?, constantly self-conscious about his girth. He went all out:

 

- two tummy tucks

- four liposuctions

- brow lift

- nosejob

- eye lift

- suction to chin and jowls

- fat removed from upper eyelids

- skin removal on arm and lip

- hair transplantation

- gastric bypass surgery

- fat injection into cheeks

- abdominal scar removal

- breast lift

- chest lift

- laser of lower eyelids to smooth out wrinkles

- dermabrasion

- face-lift

- microsuction to cheeks

 

Total cost: $126,000

 

Now a trim 190 lbs, Bandas says ?I?m done, I?m happy where I am.?

 

Thank you Household International. Look for these plastic exotica loans in the prospectus of your Money Market Fund. Usually labeled:

 

?Beverly Hills Surgical Receivables Trust, Unit IV?

 

AAA-rated, after the default risk has been swapped out to some EuroZone Bagholder anxious to ?catch up? to its U.S. counterparts by participating in the ?high profits? of Structured Exotica. And of course, the myriad hedging strategies have been endorsed and approved by MBIA, who has slapped on its guarantee to yet another small chip within Paper Pyramid.

 

?????????..

 

After September 11, 2001, with the stock market in a virtual freefall, Al Green tried some ?conventional measures? to jam things back to the upside. He tried the conventional measure of cutting the Fed Funds rate over and over.

 

After the July 2002 lows (aka ?liquidity collapse?), and the October 2002 lows (aka ?tech collapse?) and the subsequent interest rate cutting failed to get things moving, Al Green decided to check the U.S. Economy and Financial Markets into The Matrix for an ?Extreme Makeover? prior to the Iraq war.

 

Doug Noland warned the Fed of ?gross imbalances? and ?heightened systemic risks? and ?new bubbles replacing old bubbles?. Al Green could not run to the Printing Press fast enough, and the Speculators and Gamers could not buy tech, financial, and housing stocks quick enough.

 

Al Green decided to go all out:

 

- Introduction of the Fractionless Reserve Banking Era by turning Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae into Atomic Particle Accelerators, able to create money at exponential rates out of thin air, E = mc2 style. One dollar of new mortgage loans can be multiplied into infinite amount of liquidity via roundtripping of high risk subprime mortgages into AAA-rated money market liabilities.

 

- Green lighting of the GSE?s to buy any and all distressed non-mortgage securites at 100% face value

 

- 24/7 Bullhorning of the ?Fed Model? proclaiming that ?stocks are cheap?

 

- Permanently Pegged Low Interest Rates as far as the eye can see

 

- Chronic and constant futures intervention and Stick Saves at all key support levels in the U.S. stock market.

 

- Blank check authority for bullion banks to short gold and silver which no longer exists, using unlimited full faith and credit of the Federal Reserve

 

- Massive distortions and manipulation of economic data to create the illusion of fantastic GDP growth, miraculous productivity, amidst zero inflation.

 

- Full time required Bullhorning by Fed Govenors of ?economy is improving?, and ?jobs are coming back? to perpetrate the fraud, Joseph Goebbles style.

 

- Managed T-Bone and U.S. Peso Interventions by foreign Central Banks to keep the yield curve in a Perpetual Boner state, to embolden SpreadTraders to use increasing amounts of leverage.

 

Total Cost as of 11/18/03: $6,912,605,204,975*

 

*Total National Debt, ex-items, such as off balance sheet liabilities at the ESF, non-existent Social Security, pension guarantees, FDIC guarantees, implied guarantees of GSE's, and other assorted off balance sheet exotica.

 

??????????????

 

Not much else to report today, except Buddha?s prediction last night of the usual Scam Week Jam Job which always appears out of nowhere when ?key support? lines need to be defended:

 

Way too many happy bears on the site tonight. Have seen this countless times before. Sorry to urinate in the gutter here but I sense this is a typically staged OE Racketeering pullback. I expect a reversal and new bounce coming by next week per OE Forensic model. Gold breaks of 'support', dramatic linear crossings, etc.,etc. are all very interesting but unfortunately they only show you what has already happened. All of this just as easily reverses. What is tradeable on a more dependable basis imo is simple Forensic analysis of criminal monthly stock operations. It shows a good probability regardless of T.A. of a momentum reversal following this selling into OE. It shows an excellent probability of end of the month buying. It also forecasts the re-entry in a very major way of Matrix players to goose this pig back up now that it has stumbled. If any thing over these last many, many months, support breaks are LONG signals not SHORT signals in the indexes, but this is only my opinion. Best to all hapless riverboaters, Buddha

 

???????????????..

 

And another classic observation regarding the current ?Bubble Dynamics? from mjkst27, with some enhancements from The Editor:

 

The biggest bull market of all is NOT...

 

The Dollar Bubble

The Stock Bubble

The Bond Bubble

The Repo Bubble

The Housing Bubble

The Structured Securitization Exotica Bubble

The Pegged Rate SpreadTrade Bubble

The Financial Media Bullhorning Bubble

The Large Breasted Wonder HeatMap Bubble

The Corporate Governance ?Settlement? Bubble

The 0% Financing Bubble

The Fed Funds Vortex Bubble

The Gold Carry Trade Anti-Bubble

The Hypertiger ?Just Think Positive Religion? Bubble

 

No, none of these...

 

The biggest bubble of all is the colossal mountain of Average Joes who have been sucked into the ?Buy and Hold? religion, and who have been buying off on the FedSpeak and the Crapvision Bullhorning and the Kudlow and Cramer High Fiving and the Chronic End Zone Cheerleading going on 24/7 every time the stock market ?bounces?.

 

These people are the so-called ?Educated White Collar? people who have entrusted their Financial Future to the Fumble Managers and have levered up on Bloated Real Estate, and have been seduced by the Capital One Mermaids and have mired themselves in huge debts, waiting to be bailed out by the Fabled V-Shaped Recovery led by IT Spending and all the rest.

 

Anyway, wait and see what happens when these schmucks finally figure out they been jacked?..

 

..............................

 

For anyone who cares, I decided to throw more ammo at The Matrix today:

 

Nobody wants it under $400. Everyone will be in panic buying mode when it hits $600, $700, $800, etc....

post-7-1069272643_thumb.jpg

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Brilliantly written once again Mark...a masterpiece for the time capsule. Thank you for clearly identifying how much of our money has been spent to screw us. Can we sue the Matrix for insider trading?

 

I think this day confirmed what we've been saying all along. They did their best to crush the gold stocks, nearly all of which rebounded nicely (I simply doubled down, thank you very much). The "General" proclaimed that the economy is on the mend and Monster was on CNBS touting all of the new jobs available on its web site (never mind the 10% headcount cut at AWE...nothing happening here...move along).

 

The typical 2:00 bonner blast was more like a limp dick in need of Viagra. All of the boys were hanging around the trading desks playing gin rummy until the robots kicked in...all of which faded in the last half hour...providing the boys with a little time for a few more quick hands before closing time.

 

The buyers are nowhere to be found. Every move is a Matrix-initiated short squeeze, and everbody knows it.

 

Prop it up tomorrow...and sell it like there is no tomorrow on Friday.

 

Plunger

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Mark - great, great writing. As usual, I jut can't get to M2M fast enough after a day like today.

 

First - what the hell happened to the debt? I thought you had pulled a bad number because I've been watching it very carefully and it's been waffling along at $6.871 for a while.

 

But here's the table from the Treasony website and you are correct, sir!

 

 

11/18/2003 $6,912,605,204,975.71

 

Current

Month

 

11/17/2003 $6,904,718,859,459.11

11/14/2003 $6,870,815,186,447.15

11/13/2003 $6,872,816,286,495.60

11/12/2003 $6,871,667,152,822.78

11/10/2003 $6,871,630,935,397.46

 

Not bad for the first month of the Federal fiscal year! I wonder how many SPOOs are locked in that number?

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