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The Cellist


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I have always used Bluejack,s d-traderz.com for a live link to index quotes. It is working today. :grin:

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uncle buck may be staring down a new low...

 

Last trade 86.56 Change -0.36 (-0.41%)

 

Settle 86.92 Settle Time 23:34

 

Open 86.79 Previous Close 86.92

 

High 87.25 Low 86.50

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A few helpful hints for Stoolies in thisd new year:

 

If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of

boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

 

Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting

someone else to hold them while you chop away.

 

Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip

a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

 

Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the

fishes' eyes bulge and causes them to swim in an amusing manner.

 

An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes a wonderful inexpensive vibrator.

 

Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply

pissing in the sink

 

High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a

while,thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

 

(Mousey, please ignore!) A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.

 

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will

be afraid to cough.

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