Jump to content

Stranger Than Fiction, Part 1


Recommended Posts

Truth is Stranger than Fiction

===============================

 

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the Poison Control Center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.

 

She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the Emergency room right away.

 

********************

 

Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the field decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, they were quite surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator that is activated when the raft is inflated.

 

They are no longer employed there.

 

******************

 

A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag."

 

While standing in line waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.

 

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.

 

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

 

*********************

 

From MountainWings.com ? The Daily Inspirational Email

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 342
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Good morning and Good Stool to all!

 

First of all, as you know, in keeping up with your fellow stoolies, it is very important that you download your Anals regularly. If you are unable to download your Anals daily, you need to take a subscribatory and download your Anals RIGHT NOW, and every day from now on. It's very important for your well being, both physically and emotionally.

 

Each day you'll get Doc's latest unbiased Hurst cycle projections for both the short and long term, plus the opening and closing Anals update each day, along with one in mid afternoon. Other daily features are your Golden Stool, which no self-respecting stoolie should leave behind. And of course the Feed from Uncle Al Greasepan. How do you expect to know how things will come out unless you know what's going in! Then in the late PM, after the Treasury market close, get the latest on the Long Bong Hit and Uncle Buck. With the Long Bong Hit, yields get higher and Uncle Buck is feelin' low.?

 

Your Golden Stool, including short and long term updated charts and price targets, is loaded each morning. Even if you are not a goldbug, you should check out the Golden Stool, a daily Anals release. Take a subscribatory and get the latest release of the Golden Stool from your Anals RIGHT NOW! Don't miss another Golden Stool!

 

Wednesday is MoGauge Day, and then the Fed Releases Turds day! Once a week Doc will fill you in on the all important MoGauge, straight from the MoGauge Bankers Ass. Then Turdsday it's the all important Fed Turdsday releases, where Doc gives you his briefs, on the charts of the Fed's most important money and credit measures. Not quite Hypertiger stuff, (HT, we love you man!) but always pithy and insightful. The MoGauge reflects the source of most of the liquidity in the financial bubble world and may be a more important indicator of future market behavior than even the Feed. Lately The MoGauge has had a near flawless record of forecasting broad market movements weeks in advance.

 

You knew that Dr. Stool is an egg spurt on Natural Gas. Doc assures you there is no finer gas than your Natural Gas. You can get the scent of your Natural Gas in today's Suctor Watch. Remember, it was Doc who warned you long ago not to hold your Gas! It's time to let go of your Gas. See for yourself in today's Natural Gas release in Suctor Watch.. If you are unable to get your release of Natural Gas, take a subscribatory to the Anals, and get the Gas release you're looking for RIGHT NOW! Look for trading opportunities and clues to the market's direction in Suctors and Stoolwethers. Doc presents cycle charts with price targets on the leading big crap stocks and hot market suctors on alternate days, for your viewing and listening pleasure.

 

You know about the GM Stoolwether theory. As goes GM, so goes the market. Follow General McClellan and General Custer and other great market generals like Your BM, AhOL, Mister Softee, and ten other Stoolwethers in today's Suctors and Stoolwthers update. Know which way the stool's gonna fly with these cycle charts and price targets. Keep your nose to the wind with these Stoolwethers, another regular feature in your Anals. Take a subscribatory and download 'em RIGHT NOW! Updated Stoolwethers and Suctors are usually released in your Anals on alternate days around 8:30 AM NY time.

 

Of course, Don't forget those great bookstore specials! Doc's bookstore carries virtually all of the great trading and investing books ever written, usually at the best prices on the web. When you have free time, please browse the bookstore and be sure to check out Dr. Stool's prescriptions.

 

Please note the "Ads by Google" in the left column. Here on the board's content pages they are all public service ads, since Google does not have the opportunity to spider the pages to determine content in advance. However, on the topic list pages there are a number of ads relevant to us Stoolies. Please be sure to stop and have a look at them once or twice a day. There might be something there for you.

 

In these difficult times, The Amercian Society of Shortsellers needs your support. You can support your ASS by using the Pooper Scooper or Donate buttons located throughout the Stool. It's always good to leave a little behind to support Dr. Stool and your ASS, as he continues his humanitarian work on your behalf.

 

Last but not least, if you are interested in fine tuning your timing, and who isn't, Stooltrading is the place for you. Doc gives commentary and illustrations of intraday cycles throughout the day with projections for highs lows and cycle time turns for the SPX and QQQ that are frequently right on the money. He also gives cmap targets for individual stocks by request. Plus, we do have a little fun in there, and several of your fellow stoolies share their charts and trading ideas as well. There are no superstars in Stooltrading, just Doc and a group of honest Stoolies, honestly trying to help each other and themselves, constantly checking and balancing one another's views. Yes, it's always good to have checks and balances. The more checks the more the balances. So take a subscribatory to Stooltrading RIGHT NOW, and increase your checks and balances! Click Here

 

Many tanks for your support and have a Stool day!

 

See you in Stooltrading.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

China Exoticas are on fire. Riverboating frenzy is still on. What a great exit opportunity...will definitely cash in most chips today. :grin:

 

How's gold/silver doing?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Tell a friend

    Love Stool Pigeons Wire Message Board? Tell a friend!
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • ×
    • Create New...