Credit Orgy

[GregFokker]

Greetings All!

 

I'm a long time lurker but haven't been able to post because I've been busy doing some undercover investigation. I managed to get a microphone in on a meeting between Alan Greenspan and The Powers That Be that took place a couple of weeks ago. Here is a transcript:

 

Alan Greenspan: Gentlemen, we have a problem. It's the economy.

 

Sinister-Looking Man 1: What's wrong with it?

 

AG: In a nutshell, there is too much debt. Nearly everyone is up to their eyeballs in debt and very few have any real savings. The debt is unsustainable because the economy cannot produce enough real earnings to pay the interest on the debt. We are facing an implosion of our economic system.

 

Sinister-Looking Man 2: You said nearly everyone. Who still has savings?

 

AG: Retirees mostly. Many of them have 401K's and pensions.

 

SLM2: Well that's easy. Let's just figure out a way to steal the money from them.

 

AG: It's not that simple. Although some retirees have invested and saved conservatively, most of the so called "savings" of the retirees are in the form of underfunded pensions. The money doesn't actually exist. Since most companies are technically bankrupt, the assets in these pension funds are really just IOU's that cannot be honored. Speaking of unfunded liabilities, our government has about $26 trillion in unfunded social security and medicare liabilities that we cannot pay either.

 

SLM1: So stealing money from the retirees with savings won't solve the problem. It sounds like what we really need is a way to keep retirees and the sick from tapping these non-existent savings vehicles in the first place.

 

AG: Exactly. But unfortunately, we have another problem. It's these damn third-world countries in Southeast Asia, they are really putting pressure on our economy. China, India, Malaysia... their people are willing to work for just pennies an hour; and they're cranking out tons of products for a lower cost than we could ever hope to achieve. I just don't know how we can compete.

 

SLM1: So let me see if I've got this straight. We've got a bunch of elderly and sick people hoarding their savings while draining down our resources. At the same time, we have thriving competition in Southeast Asia which is taking profits and market share from our domestic companies.

 

SLM2: Hmmmm. If only there was a way that we could discreetly eliminate most of the sick and the elderly in our country, while at the same time wreaking havoc on the economies of Southeast Asia.

 

Sinister-Looking Man 3: Gentlemen. I've got an idea...

Brilliant, Klingon! Welcome.