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BAREister

Professional Courtesy's Just Been Shot To Pieces...

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http://www.sacbee.com/state_wire/story/540...p-6393675c.html

 

What IS this world COMING TO, ANYWAY? LOL

 

The BAREister can't think of anything CONSTRUCTIVE to add to this rather FRIVOLOUS post at the moment. He is in SHOCK.

 

He will add something beFUR the weekend's out.

 

Could this rally have spent itself THIS week? What a HOOT THAT would be.

 

Just like Ms Market to do something like that. Get the bulls all lathered up and then....WHAMMO!!! pull the rug out from underneath 'em.

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Q. What's wrong with lawyer jokes?

A. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes.

 

 

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.

 

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?

One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a catfish.

 

 

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Washington State Attorney Season and Bag Limits

1300.01 GENERAL

 

1.Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.

 

2.Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.

 

3.Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.

 

4.It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.

 

5.It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

 

6.It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.

 

7.It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.

 

8.It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.

 

9.If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.

 

10.Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.

 

11.It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

 

 

 

BAG LIMITS

 

Yellow Bellied Sidewinder-2

 

Two-faced Tort Feasor-1

 

Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator-4

 

Small-breasted Ball Buster (Female only) -3

 

Big-mouthed Pub Gut-2

 

Honest Attorney- EXTINCT

 

Cut-throat -2

 

Back-stabbing Whiner -2

 

Brown-nosed Judge Kisser -2

 

Silver-tongued Drug Defender -$100 BOUNTY

 

Hairy-assed Civil Libertarian -7

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The Original Professional Courtesy Joke

 

A lawyer and his two stockbroker buddies took a month off to sail across the Atlantic. Midway across they hit a hurricane and the yacht sank, leaving barely enough time for all three to radio for help and scramble into a rubber life raft.

 

The raft was riding very low in the water and being circled relentlessly by six or seven sharks when a Coast Guard launched a small rescue boat. A giant wave came along and swamped the survivor's raft. In an instant the sharks mauled the stockbrokers into little more than hamburger, but then broke apart to form a pathway and escort the survivor safely into the hands of the Coast Guard.

 

"Damn!" gasped one of the astonished sailors. "That was a miracle!"

 

"Nah," explained the lawyer modestly, wringing the seawater out of his shirt. "Just professional courtesy."

 

Link

 

===================

When that joke is considered funnier with the roles of the lawyer and the stockbrokers reversed, it will likely mean that THE bottom is near. :)

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If that's a link to LAWYER JOKES, Stool must THWART it!!!

 

Actually, the joke is about a lawyer, a priest and a doctor.

Their raft is leaking in shark-filled waters and they know only one person can make it to shore. They debate who is more valuable to socieity. The priest, being a good Christian, nobly sacrifices himself. The doctor, being a doctor and thinking he is GAWD doesn't want to got go, but the lawyer is better at arguing and the doctor loses, so he jumps overboard, and, like the priest, is devoured by sharks immediately. The lawyer paddles frantically for the shore but the raft leaks too fast and the horrified people on the beach watch as he stands up in the raft, and snaps his fingers. The sharks immediately stop circling, and, instead, line up in a row from the raft to the shore, nose to tail with their fins sticking out of the water. Checking to make sure his tie is straight, the lawyer grabs his briefcase, and, just as the raft is sinking under the water, calmly steps out of it onto the fin of the first shark and nonchalantly walks on the fins/backs of the sharks to the shore.

The awestruck crowd is speechless.

Finally a young lad breaks the silence: H-h-h-how did you do THAT, Mister?" he asks, incredulously.

The lawyer shrugs nonchalantly.

"Simple," he says, diffidently. "It was merely a matter of professional courtesy."

 

Be NICE to lawyers!!! After ALL, you may NEED one someday!

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Guest yobob1

All of this and no concern for the shark. If he survives the "food poisoning" it'll take years for him to get the bad taste out of his mouth.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.

 

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?

One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a catfish.

 

 

More

for the new board :)

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Hmmm, one of the classics is missing from this thread:

 

What do you say when you see a lawyer buried in sand up to his neck?

 

Not enough sand.

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