THE HONEST HEDGE FUND CLOSURE LETTER
A lot of smart hedge fund mangers are closing up shop. However their closure letters to their investors I think leave something to be desired. In the spirit of Christmas giving and the truth, I have decided to produce a generic hedge fund closure letter that hedge funds that are closing can use as a template to craft their own letters:
The game is finally over. It was wonderful while it lasted, but massive Central bank bond buying has sadly come to an end.
Ever since they panicked big time in 2009 and introduced massive quantitative easing its been a wonderful ride for stocks and bonds. We have not had to do anything, no stock picking skills required, just every year collect our massive 2 and 20, take very expensive holidays and buy ourselves lots of very expensive presents for Christmas. THANKS FED.
Its been a wonderful welfare scheme for investors and hedge funds, but the writing has been on the wall ever since that Trump fellow got elected President and those little riots in Paris just seem to confirm everything.
We looked like geniuses by just sitting tight and doing nothing. But the very action of this inaction is now making us look like fools.
Time to shut up shop and open that private office in order to take advantage of all the wonderful shorting opportunities, and then pick up all the cheap assets after the crash for cents in the dollar. Just remember: all good Ponzi's eventually come to an end.
Sorry got to go, the private jet to my holiday destination is waiting on the tarmac.